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#432385 - 04/25/13 05:04 PM Anxiety before the T session
ThisMan Offline

Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 778
Loc: upper south
In a bit and a half, I am headed out to the T session. Last week things came up like how not such a nice guy my dad really was, how each drank too much, was mean, mean, mean....and the T pointed out how that lack of attention and affection helped lead me into life's abuses.

From the depths of somewhere I shared about the half- brother just a few years younger than me. T sessions has been leaving me feeling odd. I am truly pulling up shyt from the depths I had buried so long ago. Hadn't forgotten, I just choose not to think about them. So because of this, I am filled with dread a couple hours before I go.

I wonder if wanting that attention and affection she mentioned made me somewhat responsible for the abuses. Just a thought that crosses through since she said that an emotionally, physically absent father was a factor.

Ahhh, nope. Not going there. I have the answer. Children of four do not know enough to seek sexual attention and affection. I am self-talking today.

Things come up that I have buried so deep for fear of feeling them, that it is beginning to give me a bit of anxiety before each appt. By the time I sat down in the office last week, my hands were shaking. Me. Nothing is supposed to rattle me- well, not in a public setting anyway. I suppose everyone has these feelings as they progress in therapy, but I don't want to be afraid of the ghosts that come forth. And I am.

Oh, well. If I wanted the status quo of my life to continue, I would have not sought help. And I did. Here's a pat on the back, Big Me, and a box of tissues. Now go on to the T session. I am in a self-talk mode, but any suggestion you might have to calm the anxiety and fears of the T session would be welcomed. Laters.
For now we see through a glass, darkly.

#432392 - 04/25/13 05:52 PM Re: Anxiety before the T session [Re: ThisMan]
csasurvivor1992 Offline

Registered: 03/25/13
Posts: 132
Loc: Texas
i wish you great luck in your T session. you're being honest. being honest is hard and your body will help you with that. you will have memories which may or may not be accompanied with physical memories... and only memories that you're prepared to handle.

you're right... good on you for taking care of you! i am like you in that way, the status quo wasn't working anymore. good on you for trucking on through even in the midst of pain and struggle. i used to be in the navy... quick analogy... if you're in rough waters, the best place for the bow is right into the direction of the swells. turn your back on it, turn your side to it, it's going to hurt. put your bow into it and you'll have your ups and downs, but you'll be in control.

the issue with therapy isn't that we are "reliving" past experiences, it's that we're "recategorizing" and finally feeling the feelings that go with being helpless and attacked.

close your eyes in a safe place and take a deep breath. the issue will still be present. your nerves will be calmer and your head clearer.

have a great T session. i'm anxious about mine tomorrow.
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on. ~Fun.

#432412 - 04/25/13 08:36 PM " [Re: ThisMan]
lbcali1978 Offline

Registered: 02/16/12
Posts: 217

Edited by lbcali1978 (04/29/13 05:49 AM)
They said

Come home

I said

I'm confused and alone

They said

We understand

I found out they don't

I'll walk the path exactly how I've always done it



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