Newest Members
Bilbo408, JHJ, NowICanSee, rdc445, batman72
13229 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
dphoenix1701 (39), jaywiz2009 (71), mato (59)
Who's Online
2 registered (2 invisible), 45 Guests and 6 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,229 Registered Members
75 Forums
68,554 Topics
477,024 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Topic Options
#432308 - 04/24/13 08:20 PM Neglect
hapati Offline

Registered: 04/06/09
Posts: 40

#432323 - 04/24/13 10:57 PM Re: Neglect [Re: hapati]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
Hey Hap,

To be sure there are childhood experiences other than CSA that can traumatize a child, and have many of the same results that CSA trauma inflicts.

Thanks for posting this.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#432330 - 04/24/13 11:31 PM Re: Neglect [Re: hapati]
genedebs Offline

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 305
Loc: MO
Dear hap, and Jude (Triggers??)

I agree with the sentiment. I have no doubt that at least .7% of all children are neglected. Many individuals are both abused and neglected. However, This would mean that more than 400,000 children a year are neglected. And the impact of neglect can be as great as as the impact of abuse.

Almost 1 million girls (25% of all girls are sexually abused before they are 18) are sexually abused every year. An additional 300,000 boys (16% of all boys are sexually abused before they are 18)each year. The difference in the data is based of the national Child Abuse and Neglect Data System (CANDS) only deals with reported cases.

We all know that sexual abuse is under reported. Not just children but rape and sexual assault on adults only report about 10% of the time.

This is all part of the basic reality, in the United States,and maybe in the world, the powerless are violated, betrayed and abused. The children are the most powerless and the least likely
to receive meaningful and helpful assistance or resources.

I would point out that this means more than 1/3 of all children are having these experiences, and we haven't counted the individuals who are physically abused. And our solution is to increase the prison population and reduce mental health resources.

This discussion makes me so angry I could spit. So instead I will try to go to sleep.

Edited by genedebs (04/24/13 11:33 PM)

#432333 - 04/24/13 11:38 PM Re: Neglect [Re: hapati]
Jacob S Offline

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 639
Loc: where the shadows lie
Neglect is real, causes permanent damage, and too often death.

People often say "abuse and neglect" together in one phrase, but I am afraid too often people think neglect is the lesser of the two.

Neglect can be just as harmful as abuse, and in my opinion deserves harsher sentences than it usually gets. Allowing a child to starve to death or not getting them needed medical treatment is just as deadly as pointing a gun in their face.

Thank you for reminding us of this. Lets remember those who suffer every day of their adult life because of childhood neglect. Lets also remember those who never made it out of childhood because of neglect.
I will always be your champion
I will always tear the monsters from you

#432359 - 04/25/13 07:41 AM Re: Neglect [Re: hapati]
cosmos Offline

Registered: 11/12/12
Posts: 191
Loc: Puget Sound
Neglect as bad as abuse?

Interesting question having survived abused and neglect from birth and knowing that there were 2 adults in the home when I was getting abused, the woman who gave birth to me sleeping in the other room while el Diablo was beating and raping me and my cousin, wow, it’s worse! Way worse, growing up knowing your mother doesn’t care if you live or die, just don’t embarrass us in front of the neighbors. For me anyway accepting that I have always been uncared for let alone loved has been much tougher then my abuse, that bitch still lives, so fitting, she’s all alone in the world now, karma’s a bitch, hugh? I saw her back in December; one of her first comments was “let me see” (your wrists); wtf? And then for Christmas she buys me a beautiful Viking pro 10” chef’s knife? See not only doesn’t she care but in her heart she hates me and wishes me nothing but ill will. See I can understand the evil of el Diablo, not really but I have to right? Her just not being there ever “letting nature take its course” I’ll never understand ever, how can a mother just turn her back on her own child? I’ll never understand ever why she wishes to destroy me so?


Maybe I should buy her a coffin for her birthday?
"it has never yet been discovered how to make man unknow his knowledge, or unthink his thoughts"

T. Paine

#432368 - 04/25/13 09:24 AM Re: Neglect [Re: hapati]
Lancer Offline

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
I have to agree with cos that "karma's a bitch" and it's provided me with much schadenfreude...especially the longer she lives.

Mine was an adopted mother, multiple marriages, self-absorbed, and did whatever she could - even geographically - to keep me away from my adopted Dad. I cut her off years ago and was quite clear about the reasons. Her "public" take is that I "broke her heart." Oh, it's a load of crap. I'd expect nothing less. And I don't care.

But with the loss of H#3, her step children on to her act and my disclosure to them, she's pretty isolated now, except for her drunk nephew who hopes to cash in when she kicks the bucket. She likes him because he can be manipulated. She despises me because, for all intents, I'm immune.

Yes, her neglect (physical, verbal and emotional abuse) was literally criminal. In fact, by any standard, women like that today are put in jail and their children taken away from them.

As I've been able to parse those years, her neglect damaged me just as much as the CSA at the hands of my high school guidance counselor.

#432413 - 04/25/13 04:36 PM Re: Neglect [Re: hapati]
bodyguard8367 Offline

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""

Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 11:06 PM)


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.