I watched that movie last night. It was a deliberate decision even knowing how it would end. When it finally did end, I cried. My face bubbled up and I cried. I cried uncontrollably for a few moments.
The lasting image, the survivor's mother holding him tight, saying she was so sorry. The sight of her almost getting sick after hearing the news. Powerful. If only the people in my life had reacted like that.
And the issue, strikingly clear, I feel like it's my fault. But why? I know it's not. I know I didn't do anything wrong. I was abused by my father and that's not my fault. I was a kid, SIX YEARS OLD. Of course it's not my fault. Then why do I feel like it is? It hurts. It hurts so freaking bad.
It'd be nice to get a hug and some compassionate, affirming words from those closest to me. Just the thought makes me cry again.
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on. ~Fun.