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#431502 - 04/16/13 10:58 PM Boarding School
Suwanee Offline

Chat Moderator
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1111
Loc: SE USA
.


Edited by Suwanee (02/26/16 10:48 AM)
_________________________
"His voice rose under the black smoke before the burning wreckage of the island; and infected by that emotion, the other little boys began to shake and sob too. And in the middle of them....Ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart…”. -----William Golding

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#431524 - 04/17/13 02:19 AM Re: Boarding School [Re: Suwanee]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3956
Loc: settling in the USA again
Hey, Will! (sorry)

not exactly boarding school for me - but it was a huge change in my life that acted as an intervention and rescue. i had been continuously bullied from age 11-13 and it often crossed the line into peer sekual harrassment and actual abuse. i was becoming suicidal when the step-dad announced that we'd be moving to the UK. that saved my life.

it was a public school - no boarding involved - but the atmosphere was totally different from what i was accustomed to. for a start - intelligence and academic success were highly valued - so i was respected and admired instead of being ridiculed and marginalized. there was also a healthy fine arts subculture - so i found a niche instead of being the unique freak in that area. the masters (teachers) kept a pretty close eye on things - so there was strong enforcement of proper decorum and little chance for bullying. We all wore uniforms so there were not any differences in fashions or designer clothes. the role of sport was considered to be a positive element - but not the all-important single qualification for acceptance and adulation. it was all very much like the culture you read about in books about British schools (NOT Dickens!). there were a few teachers that nurtured me as an aspiring artist and writer and yet kept a professional and formal and appropriate distance and reserve. i was elected by fellow students as a Prefect for my House (a student leader with assigned responsibilities), was on the debate team, won prizes for being top of the class in art and English nearly every year, and salvaged my ravaged self-esteem. it was a great prep for college back in the U. S. and living in such a history-saturated culture and setting was fantastic!

home was still hell - but at least school was now a safe and welcoming refuge. i have always been thankful for that experience. some good memories, Will. Thanks for reminding me.

Lee



Edited by traveler (04/17/13 08:07 AM)
_________________________
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

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#431548 - 04/17/13 08:02 AM Re: Boarding School [Re: Suwanee]
Chase Eric Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2356
Wonderful post - thanks, Will! Like you, I feared abuse in situations where it never happened. In retrospect, I wish I had been less guarded and more open to receive the affection and respect those people extended to me. I just wish I knew then what I know now - that not all is bad.
_________________________

..


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#431557 - 04/17/13 09:30 AM Re: Boarding School [Re: Suwanee]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
Sorry Will

I'm a public school boy....but I did have one of those awesome inspiring type teachers (a couple actually - but one super special). My Art Teacher (I posted about her way back when talking about my high school artwork). I have been meaning to write her an email for months. I intend to disclose my CSA to her in the letter because it explains a lot of my artwork back then. I have been struggling with how much detail to tell her but have finally realised that less is more in this case. I really want to tell her how much I appreciate all that she did for me and how much she changed my life. I want the letter to be uplifting and encouraging to her. In other words I want it to be about her not me.

Thanks for the post. I needed a kick up the pants.

Originally Posted By: Chase Eric
Wonderful post - thanks, Will! Like you, I feared abuse in situations where it never happened. In retrospect, I wish I had been less guarded and more open to receive the affection and respect those people extended to me. I just wish I knew then what I know now - that not all is bad.


Eric - I feel the same way.

Lee
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

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#431558 - 04/17/13 10:37 AM Re: Boarding School [Re: Suwanee]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 927
Another public schooler here, and while I had many wonderful teachers... it might not be complete coincidence that I was abused in 3rd grade, had a prolonged blackout, then kind of "woke up" in 4th grade and just fell in love with that teacher. She meant so much to me and made me feel so good about myself; I went so far as to invite her to some of my birthday parties over the years and when I graduated from college I wrote her again for having given me extra attention and making me feel good about myself and about learning (I mentioned Harvard to her not to brag but to show her what her help had set me on the path to do.)
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My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of Heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

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#431697 - 04/18/13 09:14 PM Re: Boarding School [Re: Suwanee]
lapchinj Online   content
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1447
Loc: New York
Hey Will,

I'm also a public school kid and a "very expensive private HS" kid so my mother never let me forget that fact. I remember only my 3rd grade teacher who told us snowflake stories. If we were good in class she would tell us about the snowflake that lived in her refrigerator. She was the only teacher I remember in any of the schools I went to aside from my gym teacher who just happened to take showers with me and my friend sandusky style. He was a very "hands on" gymnastics coach.

My mother always threatened to send me to a military school "if they would have me". But I got lucky in that I divorced my parents when I was 12-1/2 and when I was 13 in the 9th grade my mother started spending the winters in Florida. Winters started in September and summers started in July, so I haven't really seen her aside from a few weeks a year since then, until I fucked up and brought the 93 year old bitch to live with me in an apartment my kids built for them (my father is 98) onto my house. My mother always said I wasn't too smart and I guess she was right crazy.

Once I got rid of her out of my life my blood pressure went back down to normal smile.

Peace, Rainbows, Love & Healing
Jeff
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

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