Newest Members
chairdesklamp, Bill Ohio USA, jez, Long Way Home, Bcbornleo
13595 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
flea (50), Gnuff (29), Stray (48)
Who's Online
4 registered (2Bnormal51, ImNotTheOnlyOne, chairdesklamp, 1 invisible), 60 Guests and 6 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,595 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,695 Topics
493,739 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Topic Options
#430900 - 04/11/13 09:08 PM rest in peace
pablo Offline

Registered: 06/08/12
Posts: 16
Loc: New Jersey
My mother passed away last week, and we buried her on Friday. A funeral I had dreaded for many years turned out to be a beautiful and moving expression of recovery and transformation for me, a son she molested for far too long, for other family members and friends who had all severed ties with her, for another victim of hers (a childhood friend of mine now in his 50s whom she 'touched inappropriately' on occasion), and for my sister, who tried for many years unsuccessfully to maintain a healthy relationship. All that pain we shoveled into the ground and offered up in our prayers on behalf of a sad and tragic woman who had been abused herself by a violent mother and could never sort out her own fantasies from the realities of the world. I buried her and much of my own anger and pain last week, finally giving her a love I could express truly and simply, having denied her for decades a 'love' for which she had no right.

Haven't posted for awhile, but Male Survivor is never too far, and I am grateful to you for helping me get here.


#430907 - 04/11/13 09:51 PM Re: rest in peace [Re: pablo]
SamV Offline

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5972
Loc: Sunnny, South East USA
Pablo, this is wonderful, the ability to grow beyond the abuse. You have expressed love and concern for the abuser, a feat that encompasses safely forgiving and letting go of the negative struggle, a freedom for you that allows you to embrace progress and personal validation.

This is great progress Pablo, thank you for sharing.

MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

#430937 - 04/12/13 12:22 AM Re: rest in peace [Re: pablo]
BraveFalcon Offline

Registered: 02/26/13
Posts: 1231
Loc: The ATL
Hi Pablo. Thanks for posting this. It's inspirational to hear that you can come so far and forgive so much. Your perspective and your clarity regarding your mother, your abuser, is refreshing to me and I'm sure gives others strength and inspiration, as it gave me. Take care and thanks for sharing. Peace,


#430943 - 04/12/13 01:51 AM Re: rest in peace [Re: pablo]
pablo Offline

Registered: 06/08/12
Posts: 16
Loc: New Jersey
Sam, Ken, many thanks for these kind words of appreciation and encouragement. Very grateful for our little community, which has over and over impressed upon me both the need and potential for transformation and transcendence.


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.