I understand about the cost and not having set goals regarding the therapy. I have do have insurance or I couldn't afford the help either. But as far as goals, I had no set goals either when I started. I just wanted the pain to stop.
That's why I went into therapy the first time. I wanted the pain to stop. I wanted to make some sense of it all. I needed to evaluate what had happened to me. I didn't have any goals going in and I didn't really have any coming out. There were a few goals that came up along the way, like telling my parents, but nothing life changing. In a way, the T I went to may have saved my life, because going into therapy I was so suicidal that I literally felt myself on the brink. The hands were at 1 minute to midnight on my personal suicide doomsday clock. My work with the T help to push the hands of the clock back a bit and without him, I may not be here today. Since then, the hands on that clock have ticked dangerously close to midnight again a few times, although not as close as they did before going into therapy when I was 18.
These days, the hands on my personal suicide doomsday clock are safely away from that midnight mark. I'm not what you'd call a happy person, but I don't struggle with suicide ideation much anymore. (When I was younger my suicide ideation was an obsession
So, I don't have any therapy goals and I don't need it to save my life. I suppose that doesn't mean therapy couldn't help me to grow in some way though. If I could ever afford it, I might go back, just to dabble in it if nothing else and see where it goes. The affording part is the problem though. No insurance and I make $11.50/hr. It's all I can do to pay my bills.
From reading your posts, I thought you had been a member here for a much longer time also. You have helped me, guy.
Thank you for saying that. People keep telling me that and I keep having trouble believing that they are serious. I normally just feel like I am rambling on here in self-absorbed diatribes. Thanks for making me feel like my words are worth something. Take care. Laters,