Newest Members
jez, Long Way Home, Bcbornleo, Orko, molander
13593 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
coolcat (50), davids_wifey_xoxo (40), jjt (50), Kieran1 (65), terryj (61)
Who's Online
1 registered (UniversalBeing), 21 Guests and 2 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,593 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,684 Topics
493,719 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#430757 - 04/10/13 04:51 PM I told my doctor
DavoSwim Offline

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 397
Loc: Midwest
I had an appointment with my primary care physician today, and I told him about by past history of CSA. It didn't go well. He didn't seem the least bit interested - he didn't express any compassion or concern. He didn't ask if I needed to see a T, didn't make any comments about health concerns for CSA survivors, or even if anything is happening now. He just said that it seems like I've had more than my share of bad luck health wise and then said to see him in a few months. I've always been satisfied with him and our doctor/patient relationship. He's been my doctor for 13 years, and has seen me through all sorts of health problems. Up to now, he's been a great ally in the health care world and has gone the extra mile in providing care. Health care professionals today ask things like if you feel you're safe, if you're in danger, or if anyone threatening you. They're giving the impression that they're treating patients, not just treating disease. I didn't get anything that showed concern over my well being. It's left me disappointed, and a little unsettled. Did I do the right thing in telling? Has anyone else had a similar experience? Any advice for what to do now? Thanks.

#430760 - 04/10/13 05:18 PM Re: I told my doctor [Re: DavoSwim]

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3853
Doctors and nurses--some have compassion and understanding and others are just ignorant. They only see value in the physical and not the mental aspects of health. I believe training should require greater teaching and time working not only with the physical aspects of health but the mental aspects (the unseen and silent health). A person can be healthy physically but mentally they may need help. Too many medical professionals look down on mental health--mental health is needed to heal.

When I hear what you experienced it makes my blood boil. He did not express or concern for your total health. Instead he inflicted more pain on you. I am sorry you had to experience this type of treatment.

#430761 - 04/10/13 05:40 PM Re: I told my doctor [Re: DavoSwim]
Suwanee Offline
Chat Moderator

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1340

That is disappointing to hear...and certainly damaging to you. I don't want to second guess the doctor, but it sounds like he froze up on you. As a medical professional he should have handled your disclosure with more care and interest. He instead acted like a random person might---or maybe even like the guy who repairs your car would. You deserved better no matter what the situation. Yes---you did the right thing by telling him---don't beat yourself up over that...the problem lies with him.

I'm not defending how he reacted, but you may very well want to give him a chance to address your COMPLETE medical history on the next visit. If he was shocked by what you said, perhaps a few months would give him time to think about it. I guarantee, he won't forget in the meantime. Alternately, he could be a CSA victim as well---and he resorted to a stock response that superceded a proper professional's reaction. You never know what lurks beneath a shirt, suit or white coat.

It's infuriating, but I'd try him again and move on at that point if you are not satisfied.


Edited by Suwanee (04/10/13 05:43 PM)
I've got this life
And the will to show
I will always be
Better than before

#430762 - 04/10/13 06:03 PM Re: I told my doctor [Re: DavoSwim]
Poorsoft Offline

Registered: 02/20/13
Posts: 163
Time to change your doctor buddy

#430768 - 04/10/13 06:44 PM Re: I told my doctor [Re: DavoSwim]
cant_remember Offline

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1070
I think primary care docs are ignorant on this subject, generally. My primary care doc is a family friend; I disclosed to him and his wife at their home, not in the doctor's office, but still, I got a similar reaction from him.

He didn't know anything about dissociative issues, wanted to prescribe me an anti-depressant, and was dismissive of my concerns for anti-depressants' suicide risk. He didn't ask me if I needed an HIV test.

I just don't think doctors are well-trained in our issues. As your doctor is a friend of yours, as my doctor is with me, we must take them under our wings and teach them about how to deal with these issues professionally, because we can assure them that we are not their only patients with this issue.

I think every doctor should ask every patient who complains of depression and/or anxiety if there's any CSA in their history. They do not do this; they just write a script for the latest SSRI and send them out the door.

Unfortunately, it's up to us to educate our doctors. They don't teach about CSA in med school, apparently.

I'll be just fine and dandy
Lord, it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But I won't let sorrow get me way down.

#430770 - 04/10/13 06:59 PM Re: I told my doctor [Re: DavoSwim]
Obi Offline

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1634
Loc: kansas

Edited by Obi (05/03/13 10:02 PM)
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

#430776 - 04/10/13 08:36 PM Re: I told my doctor [Re: DavoSwim]
Farmer Boy Offline

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia

I am sorry this did not go well. We expect more for health care professionals and you deserved more. No defense - but they are human too and make mistakes. Like suggested here I would give him another chance.

For me - when I told my GP it was for a specific purpose - to get on antidepressants and get a referral to a T. She was very compassionate about it and said all the things I needed to hear. Even the sensitive stuff like dealing with ED and being tested for STDs - she has been great.

I think you did the right thing telling him - it is not your fault that he didn't react appropriately (this time).

More than meets the eye!

#430810 - 04/11/13 02:29 AM Re: I told my doctor [Re: DavoSwim]
Candu Offline

Registered: 07/01/12
Posts: 312
Loc: Canada
I told my doctor about a month ago. She listed off a number of places I could go for mental health services. (I told her that I was starting with one of them) Otherwise that was about it. But then I wasn't asking for anything just informing her.

I was seeing her for sleep issues. I told her the sleeping pills I had before were not very effective. She prescribed some anti-anxiety pills that have a side effect that makes you drowsy. I'm not sure if my disclosure made a difference in what she prescribed.

#430816 - 04/11/13 03:05 AM Re: I told my doctor [Re: DavoSwim]
Publius Offline

Registered: 03/13/12
Posts: 444
Loc: OH
"You know **** I think what you really need to do is bury it and put it behind you because if you don't it might really eat away at you."

Verbatim from my regular physician upon my disclosure. As bad as it was, I was fortunate in my knowledge from CSA books that his reaction was not unusual for non-survivors. Still, it blew me away. He genuinely thought he was giving good advice and was trying to help I could hear it in his tone. The only thing it made me wonder though was what had he buried?

Edited by Publius (04/11/13 03:05 AM)
"Life is like this dark tunnel. You may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving, you will come to a better place." ~ General Iroh

#430817 - 04/11/13 03:13 AM Re: I told my doctor [Re: DavoSwim]
BraveFalcon Offline

Registered: 02/26/13
Posts: 1231
Loc: The ATL

Hi Dave. Sorry your doctor didn't handle your revelation well. You'd think a doctor would be better trained in how to deal with that kind of thing but I suppose a lot of them aren't. Also, a lot of people who become doctors, even good doctors on a basic medical level, wouldn't make good therapists even if they were trained to be. A lot of them tend to be kind of stoic and unemotional people and perhaps a bit computer-like in their dealings with patients. Those types of doctors may, in many cases, be good doctors for people who don't have the kinds of needs you have but that doesn't doesn't make them good doctors for you. Sounds like your doc may fall into that category and you may want to start looking for a new one. In fact, if you never went back to him and he one day realizes it, it may dawn on him that he probably could have handled your revelation better. That alone could teach him something about how to handle CSA revelations by patients in the future. Peace,


Page 1 of 2 1 2 >

Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.