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#429707 - 04/01/13 09:00 AM Re: Good relationship with your abuser?? [Re: Farmer Boy]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 383
Loc: Midwest
Lee
I'm very happy for you that you are able to forgive your brother and as a result establish a healthy adult relationship with your brother
DavO

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#429717 - 04/01/13 10:43 AM Re: Good relationship with your abuser?? [Re: Farmer Boy]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3954
Loc: settling in the USA again
Farmer boy Lee -

so good to hear that the time with your brother went as well as it did. i was very concerned. sounds like one key was trying not to have expectations that were too specific. glad you were able to do that. of course the anxiety is harder to control.

it does sound like you have made some progress here. not least - the fact that you went through a very triggering situation for an extended period of time and didn't fall apart or melt down.

another great point is that he didn't deny anything - and seems to be leaving the door open to further discussion in the future - that is pretty significant - considering that you have lots of support and have been working on this for some time - and apparently he has not had that.

i respect and admire you for having such mercy on him and would hope that he recognizes this too. that might be a means of strengthening your bonds. it would be wonderful if you could support one another.

stick close to "home" and take it easy for a while, if you can. in my experience, there is sometimes a big emotional let-down that follows an intense event like this. we are here for you.

traveler lee
_________________________
"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"

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#429757 - 04/01/13 06:56 PM Re: Good relationship with your abuser?? [Re: Farmer Boy]
focusedbody Offline


Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 489
Loc: NY
Hey, Farmer Boy:

I'm glad you were able to speak to your brother.

I agree with Traveler. Take good care of yourself in the next couple of weeks.

When in doubt, breathe, and breathe again.

Focused
_________________________
Lose the drama; life is a poem.

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#429792 - 04/02/13 08:10 AM Re: Good relationship with your abuser?? [Re: Farmer Boy]
Joe44040 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/12
Posts: 10
Loc: Ohio
Lee,

Your growth in understanding what you have been through and your processing/being fully present to achieve the life you want and deserve is amazing. I couldn't be more proud and elated for you, my brother.

Much love,

Joe
_________________________
"As a man in his last breath
drops all that he is carrying
each breath is a little death
that can set us free."


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#429831 - 04/02/13 02:24 PM Re: Good relationship with your abuser?? [Re: Farmer Boy]
Shyshark Offline


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 681
Loc: Canada
Hi Lee ...

I'm so very proud of you.


Sharky
_________________________
Experience is a brutal teacher.

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#429873 - 04/02/13 08:38 PM Re: Good relationship with your abuser?? [Re: Farmer Boy]
wearytraveler Offline


Registered: 01/12/13
Posts: 49
Loc: Seattle
=deleted


Edited by wearytraveler (11/10/13 07:00 AM)
_________________________

Josh


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#432707 - 04/28/13 07:31 AM Re: Good relationship with your abuser?? [Re: Farmer Boy]
Jacob S Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 634
Loc: where the shadows lie
Thank you for sharing that, BP. That was brave.
_________________________
I will always be your champion
I will always tear the monsters from you

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