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#429748 - 04/01/13 08:05 PM Been Reading for Some Time
Sadfather Offline

Registered: 04/01/13
Posts: 1
hello. this is difficult for me. i have known i was sexually abused as a child by a parish priest who was friends of my family. i said nothing and thought i was ok. i married very young in high school. we had a child. things were great for 10 years or so. my wife became angry and our two children are also angry. i always get yelled at by all three of them. if i say anything to the children she jumps in and says you did not need to know. i had food and garbage thrown on me by all of them, hockers shot at me and hitting me in the eye and being total i no nothing. this has hurt me and all i see when this is happening is my time with the priest. he was a nice man when we were with other people and could tell funny stories at the table. when we were alone that is when he was mean and made me do things that i do not like to talk about. i know i need help but what can i do with what is being done in my house. i cannot get them to stop. i said this is not fair and no person should be treated like this. they laugh and said be a man this should not hurt you, they laugh and begin to throw things at me and spit on me and my food. i think if they stop the thoughts of priest will go away. i do not know for sure.has anyone else been treated like this by their wife and children and does it make the thoughts of the abuse seem bad? i think i need help with the abuse. but i do not know where to start. i am sorry for being so down and do not want to make anyone else sad.

#429754 - 04/01/13 09:42 PM Re: Been Reading for Some Time [Re: Sadfather]
Chase Eric Offline

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2826
Hello SadFather and a wistful welcome...

Do you know why they are being so abusive? What is their motivation? I do not have a traditional family like you do, but I can say with reasonable certainty that I tend to attract abusive people into my life. I was abused by a "big brother" type friend next door. He was really nice to me and schmoozed my mom to no end - allowing him full access to me. When we were alone, the clothes came off and there was really no saying "no" to him. Sounds like your priest.

And so I STILL attract into my life abusive people. I am convinced that it goes right back to my "big brother" years ago - the secrecy and shame and low self-worth - it's like we learn to accept it and even seek it out in our lives over and over on so many levels. People often talk about re-enactments of the sexual aspects of their abuse, but I contend that many of us are acting out on so many other levels and maybe don't realize it - even in our professional lives (as is my case right now).

You say, "i think if they stop the thoughts of priest will go away." I can't help but wonder if you'll find a greater truth by looking at it the other way around.

#429755 - 04/01/13 10:01 PM Re: Been Reading for Some Time [Re: Sadfather]
SoccerStar Offline

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 929

Edited by SoccerStar (04/01/13 10:02 PM)
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of Heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

#429807 - 04/02/13 03:22 PM Re: Been Reading for Some Time [Re: Sadfather]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
Dear Sadfather,

Welcome to MS, and thanks for your post. I don't have any words of wisdom to offer for your situation, but just want you to know that you are not alone in whatever you have to face or deal with. We are always here for you.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#429827 - 04/02/13 06:04 PM Re: Been Reading for Some Time [Re: Sadfather]

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3787

Sorry you have to be here. You seem much younger than I. I had some of the issues and faced some unsettling attacks similar to yours. They were my triggers to the past. You need to feel safe and get some support and not let their actions control you. There is definitely a connection between what is happening around you and your thoughts of the abuse. Seek help and if you can extricate yourself from the home do it.

The important thing is to begin the healing journey. You may have to face on your own--but do it.

It is little but I hope it helps.

#429832 - 04/02/13 06:25 PM Re: Been Reading for Some Time [Re: Sadfather]
bodyguard8367 Offline

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""

Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 02:59 AM)

#429921 - 04/03/13 12:34 PM Re: Been Reading for Some Time [Re: Sadfather]

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3787

Geoff has great advise. You need to seek help and your family needs to seek help. Respect yourself, clearly your family members do not respect themselves. Their behavior is not morally correct, but if they do not see the damage they inflict it may be difficult for them to admit they need help. Their human compass may need to be re-calibrated. But you can take the first steps and as Geoff said "you must take your power back". Good luck.

Edited by KMCINVA (04/03/13 12:38 PM)


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