you have nothing to be ashamed of (referring to your edit note.) this is well-written and expresses sentiments that i'm sure many of us can identify with and have often felt.
i have found writing to be very therapeutic. the process itself helps me sort out my thoughts and emoptions and identify and connect them. and sharing it helps too - in another way - as others respond and affirm you. please let me gently encourage you to keep on writing and keep on sharing. it benefits us as well as you.
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....