As I sit here, with only myself to face. I ponder, what is wrong?
The sadness welling over, torrenting like a wave coming subtle, but ever so fearce.
I see myself, and the wave crashes over, and nothing is here, but the boy who was in fear.
And I remember everything, and I wish it all away. I want to look the other way.
For I know, in my face, it is what I see, that I don't want to see.
With a hole in my heart, and a chip on my shoulder, I see myself forsaken.
Forsaken by God, forsaken on earth. Plaught to live here with no way to turn.
But a ghost that always haunts me. And as I try to redeem myself, I deem myself unworthy.
For I am stupid, I am not worthy, for how could I be? I look up to the sky for my God,
with nobody looking back. The pain in my heart swells over, wondering why I ever should
deserve what I've got. But I push, I push, and I push to nothing but air. For it is inside me
which I fear. The darkness, the hole, the emptiness inside, I see, and cannot push it far
enough away. And again I wish it all away. Again nowhere to turn, but inside of myself.
I see the boy, I can't bear to watch. I can't bear to face my face. So more the shadows call,
an exit I see, an exit not real. For there is no place to hide, from that boy's eyes.
Those sad eyes. The eyes you could never wish to see. The eyes of a boy who's lost
everything, with nobody but himself to blame. There is no escape.
And as I sit and reflect, a thought arises. All I ever wanted was to be loved.
And how I yearn forever to be understood. I fear nothing can fill that void.
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein