How does a person start practicing self compassion and self love when they're in the firm grips of shame which convinced them that they are NOT WORTH IT!
I think this is probably my biggest problem. All the things I read about getting over self-harm seem to come down to this. That if a person cares enough about themself they won't want to hurt themself. That if you can feel compassion for yourself then you won't feel the need to beat yourself up when you make a mistake. I know this is stupid, but it's better if I take the blame for what happened to me. When it's my fault I can take it out on myself. Forever. There is nothing I can do to them that would be enough punishment.
Even just saying the word shame makes me feel horrible. I think this is what stops me from talking about it. And yes, I have also picked the wrong people to talk to at times. They have just made me feel more horrible, by questioning things that I did or didn't do. I'm glad you have found hope though. I will look into the meditation you mentioned. I'll check out Oprah if I can, but I don't think we get her where I live. Thanks for posting about this.