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#428903 - 03/24/13 11:31 AM Is this normal?
Suwanee Offline

Chat Moderator

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1145

Edited by Suwanee (02/26/16 10:51 AM)
"His voice rose under the black smoke before the burning wreckage of the island; and infected by that emotion, the other little boys began to shake and sob too. And in the middle of them....Ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart…”. -----William Golding

#428905 - 03/24/13 11:52 AM Re: Is this normal? [Re: Suwanee]
cant_remember Offline

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1058

I think recovery comes in quantum leaps. There doesn't seem to be any progress until you are able to step back, as you do here, and reflect on where you started and where you are now.

I think uneven progress is the name of the game, especially since there is no road map for recovery and we are all basically groping around in the dark looking for the lost pieces of ourselves with little to no help from anyone else.

As for your fear response, it seems like a good candidate for EMDR work. If you haven't talked with your T about EMDR, maybe now is the right time.

But he grew old, this knight so bold / And upon his heart a shadow / Fell as he found / No spot on the ground / That looked like El Dorado.

#428911 - 03/24/13 12:03 PM Re: Is this normal? [Re: Suwanee]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3965
Loc: settling in the USA again
hey, Will!

i think you are asking a reasonable question - but i am not sure there is such a thing as "normal" when it comes to our reactions and ways of dealing with the aftermath of CSA. it seems to me that it is a case of "anything goes" - from what i have seen.

so - yeah - i guess having irregular or chaotic spurts of progress or moving ahead at uneven intervals in different areas is probly a pretty typical way to experience it.

it would be nice if it was more predictable or you could somehow plot it or plan it or something. but look - what happened to us was outside the rational and normal - so our reactions to it are going to be characterized in the same way - and the process of dealing with and repairing the damage is going to be the same way.

i have found that the best approach for me is to work on whatever seems to be exerting the most pressure at the moment - not try to organize it or control it. sort of go with the flow. my subconscious seems to know what i need to do next. that is very opposite to the way i have usually lived my life. i typically like to have lots more control - but it doesn't seem to work that way in this situation. i am learning to be OK with that.

try not to worry about it.
someone else may give you a totally different answer -
and they would be right, too.
we are all unique - that is the one thing we all have in common.

"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"


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