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#428658 - 03/22/13 06:08 AM Victims with Disabilities?
Tarobuns108 Offline

Registered: 03/20/13
Posts: 21
Loc: NJ, USA
Hey folks,

I apologize if this topic has been discussed before, but I wanted to see if there was anyone out there who had a similar experience.

Are there any survivors who are living with disabilities and had those disabilities before the experience of their assault/rape? Anyone whose disabilities were taken advantage of?

I think it is hard enough for a survivor to admit their assault/rape, but when you live with disability, it comes with its own set of problems. We live in an ableist society that often looks down on, pities, or simply doesn't understand people who are disabled and their daily struggles. As such, it is easy for someone like me to feel insecure discussing these issues with able-bodied people. I have invisible disabilities, or disabilities that you can't see with the naked eye. They are disabilities that I have to admit to before you can really know about them.

Are their other disabled victims like me out there in cyberspace? As much as it saddens me to know other people have experienced this, there is some comfort in knowing I am not alone in my feelings.

Thank you,

Edited by Tarobuns108 (06/27/13 03:00 AM)
"Don't be ashamed to need help. Like a soldier storming a wall, you have a mission to accomplish. And if you've been wounded and you need a comrade to pull you up? So what?" Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, Book 7:7

#428679 - 03/22/13 12:47 PM Re: Victims with Disabilities? [Re: Tarobuns108]
ThisMan Offline

Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 778
Loc: upper south
Hi, Ren, and welcome to the forum. I do not have a disability, but we do share the ASA experience. It is devastating emotionally and spiritually. I am glad you are in T for support and to help you understand that it had nothing to do with you.

The perp... or predator... always seeks the weak link. In your case, it was your health. You shared your weakness, and he acted on it when the situation was right for him. He wanted control and dominance, nothing more. I hope things get easier for you soon. Take care of your health, stay strong, and continue with your therapy. And good for you for coming to MS. We do understand.

For now we see through a glass, darkly.

#428708 - 03/22/13 06:30 PM Re: Victims with Disabilities? [Re: Tarobuns108]
CruxFidelis Offline

Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
Hey there,

I am really sorry to hear that you also have gone through an assault and disability. I also struggle with disabling chronic illness and I completely understand how the PTSD and medical issues can feed off each other to make life really difficult. One of the challenges for me lately has been finding a therapist who can understand this. It is hard for ASA men in general to find competent T's and even then, the T doesn't always understand the disability part. So frustrating!

I also was unable to fight back because of my disability, at least not in any functional/effective way. for me the perpetrator was a health professional who was supposed to be taking care of me. I could also imagine it would be very hard to be betrayed in this way by a friend and have to see him on a regular basis.

I am around if you ever need to talk.

“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

#428749 - 03/23/13 01:07 AM Re: Victims with Disabilities? [Re: Tarobuns108]
Tarobuns108 Offline

Registered: 03/20/13
Posts: 21
Loc: NJ, USA
Thank you both for the responses. I am appreciative of them.

B: You are very correct in your assessment about how these people operate. Thank you for your well wishes. I hope you find your own peace soon as well.

Peter: Having thought further about the incident and your response, I think that in both of our cases there was a major betrayal of trust. You trusted a medical professional to help you as his job implies he should; I trusted a friend to treat me as a friend should. Ordinarily they are people we should have been able to trust, but these predators twist everything to accomplish their end goal.

Be well,
"Don't be ashamed to need help. Like a soldier storming a wall, you have a mission to accomplish. And if you've been wounded and you need a comrade to pull you up? So what?" Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, Book 7:7


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