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#427436 - 03/08/13 07:50 AM My story...
iwasabused Offline

Registered: 03/07/13
Posts: 1
This is really hard for me to speak about but here goes anyways. I am a male and was sexually abused by Andy [Image and last name removed by Modteam] (pictured left - South Africa, Pretoria) at around the age of 7. I tried when I was younger to push this aside and pretend it didn't happen. But it was always there in the back of my mind, reminding me of why I was different.

I grew up always questioning why this happened to me, what I had done to deserve this. I spent half of school life thinking I could have AIDS because of the stigma associated with the disease and gays. I thought the worst every time I got sick, this goes without saying what this did to my self-worth.

I told myself over and over that what he did was a mistake, that he would never do it again. But I know now that that is very seldom true. Child molesters are repeat offenders and this is the reason I'm coming forward. I was so ashamed of what he did to me I was glad no one knew at the time, but in hindsight I really wish someone had picked up the clues.

The turning point came when I had read this online: "There is no end to this man's potential as he specialised working with Down-syndrome children in his line of work as a physiotherapist." - [Link removed by Modteam] This struck a chord with me and all the guilt I tried to suppress for not telling anyone and maybe prevent this from happening again came flooding back. I read that as "a child molester in physical contact with disabled children".

I have spent the passed 6 months trying to report this through the proper authorities, trying to find out what I should do. I was lead around and around in circles. I even contacted Child Line who couldn't really understand what I was asking of them, which is very sad. I'm not sure how a child, especially a disabled child who would battle to convey themselves would get help. I contacted OpenDoor as my last attempt and spoke to some very helpful sounding people. I was promised they would do everything in the power to help. Weeks and months went by with me phoning up to find out nothing had been done. Very disappointed, I really hope children are treated with more urgency. It's actually shocking.

So this is my story... I've decided to go public with what he did to me in hopes this will prevent it happening to some other child.

Edited by iwasabused (03/10/13 08:59 PM)
Edit Reason: GreenDoor - OpenDoor

#427505 - 03/08/13 10:51 PM Re: My story... [Re: iwasabused]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
Dear iwasabused,

Welcome to MS. I'm impressed at oyur courage in "outing" this fiend. I only hope that something comes of it so he is stopped from hurting more children. T

MS is a great place to meet some of your needs for validation and fellowship with men who have had similar experiences and feelings. Please read as you feel able, and post when you feel comfortable doing so. There's no pressure here, no judgement, and no condemnation.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#427652 - 03/10/13 04:50 PM Re: My story... [Re: iwasabused]
JoziSA Offline

Registered: 05/05/12
Posts: 145
Loc: Johannesburg, South Africa

I fully understand where you are coming from. I wonder how many boys were abused by my perpetrators because the guilt kept me quiet all of those years.

Send me a private message as the links have been deleted.
Rees (JoziSA)
My Story and Blog

South African MALE SURVIVORS of Sexual Abuse
If your mind can perceive it and your heart can believe it, YOU can achieve it.


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