.... my life has spiraled out of control. The alcohol and drugs even turned against me and began to amplify the chaotic emotions that shake my inner core. I have lost everything; both businesses, my cars, my homes, lots of friends, some of my family and almost my own life.
Any of your quotes could have been written by me. We have a lot in common, I guess that why we are here. I have 16 years of sobriety.
Rather than recap my "tales of woe" (you can always read my posts), Let me just tell you that I am one alcoholic, sex addict, messed up CSA survivor, who is starting to see some daylight. Lots of therapy, AA, and support here has made a huge difference in my life. Yeah I still have to FEEL
everything and that drives me crazy, but I guess thats what "normal" people do. I don't believe that the pain will ever leave me, but I am learning to live with it. Just like theres no cure for alcoholism, but we learn to live with it.
You are doing all the right things, so just don't give up on yourself. BTW, I have spoken about my CSA at AA meetings because its been a huge contributing factor in my alcoholism. And my recovery from alcoholism has been a huge factor in facing my CSA.
I kept the secret for 42 years. At 39 you still have a lot of life ahead of you. Just face it one day at a time
. You'll get there.