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#427418 - 03/08/13 01:58 AM Saying goodbye
CloudyFalls Offline

Registered: 07/19/12
Posts: 173
Loc: Ohio
So today, in my group therapy, we had a guy leave. Now keep in mind I entered this group a newbie, everyone else has known eachother for 5+ years at least. I don't exactly know why or how this happened but here's how it went.

For group, we have a goodbye ceramony, and the guy leaving gets to say what he wants to everybody, then they respond. But when it got to be my turn, I was surprised that I was overwhelmed with emotion. I was the only one who started crying when I made my response. I had only known him for 3 months barely, and yet I felt so much for him. Something he said was he pointed out how strong and courageous I am, and he was the only one in the group that was able to actually make me feel this way. So when I started to reply, I started to say, speaking on a personal level with you, you're one of the only people that's been able to make me feel and believe that, and I hope what you say is true because sometimes I feel like I'm not so strong or courageous, and I'm not always sure I'll be alright. And I started crying, something about him really touched me. And I feel weird that out of all the people in the group, I'm the only one who cried when saying goodbye and here I knew him the least. But it's something he said afterwards that really showed me what kind of person he was. He was so humble, that he simply told me, I'm just a mirror, I only show you what you already are. But the truth is, he's much more than just a mirror, he has a genuine compassion and talent for making people feel like they're worth a damn. He has that ability to show you what you can't see in yourself, and I thought this guy is such a great person, I wish I could've gotten to know him better.

I know he has a hard time believing praise and compliments himself, but if anything I hope my genuine emotional reaction could give some sort of credence that could allow him to see how great he really is.
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein

#427424 - 03/08/13 02:29 AM Re: Saying goodbye [Re: CloudyFalls]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4197
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
Cloudy - this is a moving episode. i hope you will believe what he said - that he is a mirror - and remember that the original image and the reflection both show the same characteristics. whatever you see of worth in him that you respond to, must be in you too, for you to be so attached. and it is healthy that you are able to feel and express those emotions - as much as they hurt at the time.

hoping you'll find someone else to connect with,
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3

#427426 - 03/08/13 03:26 AM Re: Saying goodbye [Re: CloudyFalls]
ThisMan Offline

Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 778
Loc: upper south

This is a tribute to the spirit of a man that has touched you greatly. Good for you for sharing how he has helped you and touched you and given you strength and encouragement. He made you feel powerful and strong, and great for you in being real and honest in expressing the gifts you received from him. In return, you gave him the gift of honor and admiration. He will be able to carry that deep within for the rest of his life.

And I loved the phrase you shared...."I'm just a mirror, I only show you what you already are." So incredibly reaffirming. I felt good just reading about your friend. Thanks, guy.
For now we see through a glass, darkly.

#427451 - 03/08/13 11:51 AM Re: Saying goodbye [Re: CloudyFalls]
LazyPirate Offline

Registered: 01/03/13
Posts: 106
Loc: Ontario
Ditto on what traveler & ThisMan said. Also, I have noticed that once or so in a life time we get to meet people like this. I went to a T once that made me feel this way. I was only able to see her once, because in the office she was working in I was not her assignment, rather she was filling in when my regular T was away. Anyway... I went to speak with her with zero expectations & wound up finding that she was almost like a mirror for me. She didn't come off like a typical T. I looked into her eyes & saw someone who had been exactly where I was, who was rapped, who was hurting... But she was strong & helped me see those things in me. I still think about her all the time. With one session she started me on a greater path to something. I think of her as a kindred spirit... Not a T. I will miss her always. I think I know how you feel. Heal well.
The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson


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