It definitely sounds to me like your relationship with your partner is unhealthy. No one deserves to be hit and your gender has nothing to do with it. It sounds like the counselor might not have realized your current unhealthy situation and was pushing disclosure way too fast.
Trust yourself and doubt anyone who makes who feel bad about yourself. You are your own most trustworthy source of information. No one knows you as well as you know yourself, even if it doesn't feel that way. And no one can stand up for you the way you can stand up for yourself. No one, no matter what their intentions, is perfect and ultimately you are in charge of you. Take care of yourself first.
Your post does sound like you are in a both physically and emotionally abusive relationship. I'm not going to presume to know exactly what you should do next. But YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE HURT. You are valuable, you are important, you are precious. You have the right to protect yourself from violence and the ability to live life without punishment.
Please take care of yourself.
I am a veteran of the soul wars.