Remember that That rape is all about Power, not love. The pervert is trying to threaten and intimidate, he is not in love with your BF. The problem with confrontation is that you never get the answer that you want, and often this can set the Survivor back. It is best if you try to limit contact with the offender at this stage till your BF gets to a place where he is stronger and happier.
I could walk into a room with all my perpetrators right now and have no ill feelings toward them. I have reclaimed my life.
The focus right now should be your Boyfriend and his recovery, not trying to find proof that this happened. That you will never find. Watching him act out is proof enough that he was abused. If he believes it encourage him to talk about it, encourage him with the guidance of a T to talk abut what happened.
Dont be distracted by anything other than his recovery, And yours. Dont forget that you too need help through this, Join AlAnon or CODA and get some support for yourself. Being a supporter can be so emotionally draining, and when you are down and out, his recovery will also suffer.
Matrix Men South Africa Survivors Supporting Each otherMatrix Men Blog