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#42652 - 03/26/04 12:11 PM Post 1000, or Yes, it IS all about me! Ha ha
Leosha Offline

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
Well, I joined this site about a week after realizing I had to deal with these things. That was June of last year. This is post 1000 at this site. I am considering right now, how far have I walked on the 'path' to healing in this 1000 posts?

The first person I told about this in 'real life' was my best friend. He was a 'safe' tell. He had been with this coach also, for a brief time, and knew at least of the physical abuse. He also told me that I had told him some 'things' about my father before, that I did not remember at the time.

Since then, I have told my current coach, my girlfriend (who wasn't my girlfriend at the time I started here, that is another development on this path), several other close friends, one of my students (who has shared some of his own abuse history with me), and of all people, my mother. (Something I never thought would happen).

When I first came here, I was so very averse to therapy. I knew I could not do that, I could not talk with someone about all this. Now I have been with a therapist for about 6 months, and am finding the help of it.

I was first very afraid, even here, to be open and share of myself. Now I have some people here that I consider real, good, friends.

I have confronted my abuser, several times, and am finally considering taking legal action against him (something else I never thought I would have the courage to do).

I still have fears and panic. I still struggle with sleep, and have nightmares when I do. I still have the body memories. I still feel very low often, and still feel not so good about myself. BUT it is all better then I thought I could ever be again just nine months ago. And I have faith that it does continue to get better, and there is an actual 'end' to this journey.

Everyone here who has shared any thoughts or words with me has helped me. I am so very honored to have met so many strong, brave, and inspiring men here. Thank you all, thank you all for helping me so much, and for continuing to do so.


Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

#42653 - 03/26/04 02:41 PM Re: Post 1000, or Yes, it IS all about me! Ha ha
coolcat Offline

Registered: 02/23/04
Posts: 109
Loc: Winnipeg MB Canada
Congrats man on hitting 1000,may there be many more.
It's encoruging to read the stories of people who have been able to move.My hope is that you will continue on your jounary, may it be a safe on.

Take it easy, Don't that the sounds of your own wheels drive you crazy....

#42654 - 03/26/04 06:01 PM Re: Post 1000, or Yes, it IS all about me! Ha ha
outis Offline

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2261
Loc: Maryland USA

You do have a lot of accomplishments in this short time. I still wish that none of us needed to be here, but I'm glad you came here last year. I'm glad that you have been sharing your story and helping us, 1000 times over.

Keep on keeping on!


"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

#42655 - 03/26/04 10:14 PM Re: Post 1000, or Yes, it IS all about me! Ha ha
Brayton Offline

Registered: 10/21/03
Posts: 696
Loc: Minneapolis
I've been here only a few months and have seen your progress via your posts. Congratulations. You deserve the good feelings you are finally having.


Sometimes, things just won't work the way we want them to.

#42656 - 03/27/04 12:57 AM Re: Post 1000, or Yes, it IS all about me! Ha ha
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1984
Loc: Flint, Michigan

Congratulations on the improvement you have made since you began your healing journey.

Thanks for the 1,000 posts. You have given many us a nice word and support.

Take care,

Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

#42657 - 03/27/04 12:57 AM Re: Post 1000, or Yes, it IS all about me! Ha ha
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Brett has noticed the change in you during a few short months, I'd be happy to tell Brett that the change has been enormous during the time I've known you here.

I feel so good in seeing the change in guys as they progress here, and please don't think I'm taking credit for these changes - the Mod's and I just keep some kind of "law and order here" - the changes within the individual, are down to THAT individual.
It's down to the commitment and hard work of each individual that makes those changes possible.
AND the support of others.

There are Survivors that go it alone, but I firmly believe that having the support of other Survivors is such a great bonus that I know I couldn't possibly do without it.

So come on Leo' keep posting and catch me up \:D


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

#42658 - 03/27/04 02:15 AM Re: Post 1000, or Yes, it IS all about me! Ha ha
crisispoint Offline

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts

There is a story in Japan that, when someone folds 1000 paper cranes, their greatest wish comes true.

Well, my wish for your 1000+ posts is that you're granted peace from your past, that your sleep be untroubled, and that your health is no longer an issue for you.

You've come a long way, my brother, I think.

I can't wait to see what your next 1000 posts are like. \:D

Peace and much love, my brother,


There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

#42659 - 03/27/04 02:35 AM Re: Post 1000, or Yes, it IS all about me! Ha ha
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Leosha over those thousand posts I have seen you grow as a man with a sense of self worth. I have seen your courage and your pain. I have seen the compassion that you show for others.

It is truly an honour to call you brother.




#42660 - 03/27/04 11:18 PM Re: Post 1000, or Yes, it IS all about me! Ha ha
RICK57 Offline

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Leosha - that is 1000 times that you have supported others here.

I hope that you can really feel us returning that support to you - you do deserve it.

Wishing you peace and love (the old hippy in me).

Best wishes ...Rik

*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!


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