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#426359 - 02/25/13 04:19 AM Just wanted to share this.
Paul68 Offline

Registered: 06/28/12
Posts: 13
Loc: Australia
It has almost been 1 year to the day since I first disclosed the abuse I received as a child.
Although this was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do, it is slowly turning into one of the most positive actions I have ever taken in my entire life.
At the time I didn't have the same views on recovery as I do now. I struggled to believe that it was even possible, but what options did I have. Every coping method I had previously used didn't work. The alcohol,the drugs and every other way that we try and cope rather than face our past.

I am pleased to say that I use neither the alcohol or drugs anymore and I am a better person,father,friend and hopefully partner to a special person that is now in my life.

What has brought about this reflection is that this weekend I have the privilege of attending a weekend workshop with Mike Lew. I had read about Mikes workshops but never thought that I, for one, would ever have the chance to attend one of them.
It was only through fellow survivors from this site that I have this opportunity to attend the workshop.
For this I am forever grateful, for not only the forum, but for the many supporters and fellow survivors that make communicating in a open and supportive environment possible.

To all the people that have read my posts and commented or sent messages, I thank you. For me, just to know that even one person has taken the time to read what I have posted makes me feel like I am being heard and understood.
In know that many men that use this forum may be just starting to deal with their past. They may also be thinking that the road ahead is a long and hard one, and this in most cases is true, but also remind yourself that it can also be one of the most rewarding first steps you ever take.

Please believe in yourself, as others believe in you, and you will get to wherever you need to be.


#426360 - 02/25/13 04:25 AM Re: Just wanted to share this. [Re: Paul68]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4285
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
Paul -
sounds like you have come a long way in just one year.
i am really happy for you
and thank you for the positive story of your progress.
that is very encouraging - something we all need to hear more.
keep up the good work, man!
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3

#426380 - 02/25/13 08:59 AM Re: Just wanted to share this. [Re: Paul68]
dark empathy Offline

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2711
Loc: durham, north england
Thanks for this Paul, it is great to have such a reminder even for those of us who've been engaged in recovery for quite a long while.

I myself attended one of mike Loo's workshops in 2010, which was a great experience, albeit not an easy one, though certainly one of the things I did! value aboutt that was the chance to meet a few of the chaps I'd previously communicated with on this forum.

So, good luck and good healing and thanks for the important reminder.

With all the negativity surrounding recovery, the sense of worthlessness and bad perceptions, it is extremely good to have such a reminder for everyone wherever we happen to be.


#426385 - 02/25/13 10:21 AM Re: Just wanted to share this. [Re: Paul68]
Paul68 Offline

Registered: 06/28/12
Posts: 13
Loc: Australia
Thanks Lee and Luke.
I don't want to be seen as discounting any one persons recovery, either time wise or in dealing with their own feelings of negativity.
I still battle with these effects daily, the feeling of worthlessness, the not wanting to be touched, the detachment, the constant memories that are always there.
I suppose I just wanted to say that I 'TRY' and I personally have to believe that recovery is possible.

This is now,
This is today,
Tomorrow all I can do is start again,
Because tomorrow will bring it's own story.


#426708 - 02/28/13 03:06 AM Re: Just wanted to share this. [Re: Paul68]
ThisMan Offline

Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 778
Loc: upper south
Paul, thanks for the continued hope in recovery and for the honesty of your statement:
"I still battle with these effects daily, the feeling of worthlessness, the not wanting to be touched, the detachment, the constant memories that are always there."

I am at the moment sort of stuck in this mode, but after 3.5 months of T, at least I can admit and recognize I am there when I couldn't before. You, and the others like you, help me to realize that the sun will one day be bright again.
For now we see through a glass, darkly.

#426806 - 03/01/13 02:35 AM Re: Just wanted to share this. [Re: Paul68]
pittsburgh Offline

Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 105
Loc: west Chester, Pa
I have had much of the same jouney. You are right it was has,at times seemed never ending and could not be done. BUT it can be it takes willingness and a want not to be stuck in the same mud. It took three years after I first told my girl friend for every it all to come out, but she and my T stuck with me. She is now my wife, it can work if you keep working at it. Best of luck in your journey.
it is and has been quite a trip thru life, as last I feel that I am in a better place, it takes work and in my case a wife the was and is forgiveing and helpful. At last a relationship has gone right, messed up three.

#427076 - 03/04/13 12:48 PM Re: Just wanted to share this. [Re: Paul68]
expom Offline

Registered: 01/07/09
Posts: 126
Loc: Australia
Hi Paul

It was great to catch up with you and finally meet at the Mike Lew Workshop. Yes these events are tough but the people that we meet really are such an inspiration. Hopefully, you will be able to meet up with some of the guys from time to time, to help keep up the momentum of this incredible journey of recovery that we are on.

I endured all my yesterdays. I prevail in all of my todays. I exercise my right to be able to enjoy my tomorrows. I choose not to do it alone.


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