I'm doing a little better this morning.
I had about 4 rum-and-cokes in me last night when Izzy was really presenting himself.
For those of you who asked in PM, Izzy is what I'm calling my dissociated emotional state, because I had a visual image of him (it?) as a dark gray sphere with the word "Is" written on it in white letters, because he (it?) just wants his existence acknowledged.
So, I named him "Izzy," and he's a mean MF'er.
Puffer, thanks. At 36, I'm glad to be on the young side of anything.
Smart Shadow, I'm not sure if this is part of the plan. Yes I am trying to integrate Izzy into me, but I what I lack is the ability to regulate how much of him I feel. I go from numb to 100% emotion, and that's not good and not bearable.
Anyway, thank Christ for MS.
But he grew old, this knight so bold / And upon his heart a shadow / Fell as he found / No spot on the ground / That looked like El Dorado.