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#425624 - 02/17/13 09:27 PM Where did everybody go?
Randy65 Offline

Registered: 04/14/12
Posts: 109
Loc: Alabama
It seems that since I have been going through this,everyone that were my friends have suddenly disappeared from my life. It is like I have fallen off the earth. Funny how the word mental illness can clear a room. If it weren't for my partner I would have no one. I spent my life caring for others, granted it was to deflect from my own turmoil, but none the less I was there for them.
My MS family is by far the best support that I have. I know that you guys have experienced the same. It is like I woke up today and finally realized that these people have vanished. We have much work ahead of us to educate everyone.
Very sobering indeed,
My Story of CSA

My Story of CSA: The Day God Entered My Heart

My Story of CSA: "Flashbacks" (Trigger Caution)

#425626 - 02/17/13 09:41 PM Re: Where did everybody go? [Re: Randy65]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3965
Loc: settling in the USA again
hi Randy!

i know what you mean. people come and go and some that i felt bonded with have disappeared, too. some departures i understand - others i don't. i used to stay distant and uninvolved in order to avoid the hurt of "abandonment" - but have begun to realize the need for connections - even when they produce pain - and/or break down.

some who have left MS have announced their departures - either because they no longer felt the need to be here - or because some confict made them feel unwelcome. but others just seem to evaporate into thin air. both scenarios make me sad. but some of the "old faithfuls" still remain. i am thankful for those who have been around for a while and are still hanging out here. sorry if that means that they still need to be here - but glad for the support if it is motivated by the desire to help.

on the other hand - there never seems to be a shortage of "new blood" - apt phrase, unfortunately. and we can keep on re-forging new networks with the newbies - that can help alleviate the voids created by those who have left.

keep on coming back - someone is always at home here.
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

#425650 - 02/18/13 01:42 AM . [Re: Randy65]
Life's A Dream Offline

Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island

Edited by Life's A Dream (04/21/13 10:31 PM)

#425656 - 02/18/13 03:16 AM Re: Where did everybody go? [Re: Randy65]
peroperic2009 Offline


Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3791
Loc: South-East Europe
Hi Randy,
it is difficult when our friends leave us in moment when we need them the most. Not sure why is that happening and if our relationships are so shallow that can't survive any serious challenge.
I guess part of answer is that we are living in alienated self centric world whit huge lack of empathy, evidences are around us on every corner.
Respecting all that it is also important to be careful what information on our struggles to share with others, it could be very hurtful being betrayed from friends, family members and even co workers. Some survivors went trough additional hell of such betrayal after they experienced something destructive as abuse is and such outcome is more than shameful. There is no much that we can do to prevent it beside to take care of ourselves in first place and to find friends who really care.

My story

#425657 - 02/18/13 03:35 AM Re: Where did everybody go? [Re: Randy65]
whome Offline

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1739
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Im still here too
Not as often as I used to be but I like to come back and see how everyone is doing.
I also find that there some very very negative factors here that hinder rather than help healing, and reading the gumph they put out ALL the time makes me angry so I stay away.
I run Groups like AA and MatrixMen and I have one Code, there must ALWAYS be a positive to your story. Dont give me a long sap story with no positive in it. Healing is all about honesty, letting go, forgiveness and moving on.
I know a lot of people berate me for this, but hey I am a happy man that helps many others now, and all this in two short years.

Keep well and keep working at it
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

#425663 - 02/18/13 04:31 AM Re: Where did everybody go? [Re: Randy65]
Lancer Offline

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Whome! ltns! ...and, yeah, I'm still here, too.

I like your positive Code. Something I learned in the rooms and fr my sponsors.

#425676 - 02/18/13 08:51 AM Re: Where did everybody go? [Re: Randy65]
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Yeah Randy. I read about and from the guys here and elsewhere who have "friends and family." All my closest friends have recently died young, but two have put me on the "pay no mind" list. Its like; when the phone doesn't ring, I'll know its you.

I literally can't even get people to go see bands with me any more. A lot of it might be the "single-guy thing." Everyone else is married and my Ex has lots of those friends in her court.

MS is a very good place to have.

#425687 - 02/18/13 10:54 AM Re: Where did everybody go? [Re: Randy65]
cant_remember Online   content

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1058
I have recently shed a few friends that weren't worth the trouble. Eff 'em.

But he grew old, this knight so bold / And upon his heart a shadow / Fell as he found / No spot on the ground / That looked like El Dorado.

#425718 - 02/18/13 03:46 PM Re: Where did everybody go? [Re: Randy65]
Lancer Offline

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
If I may, in trw, it's not like FB...or MS. I have buds here with whom I've shared my guts. But perhaps it's possible because of that bit of anonymity we retain here. I'm not invalidating those relationships or what I feel when people "disappear".

In trw, which is more important to me, and unlike FB, it's about quality, not quantity.

Oops, just got unfriended again! laugh

#425721 - 02/18/13 04:20 PM Re: Where did everybody go? [Re: Randy65]
Daniel_forgotten Offline

Registered: 02/07/09
Posts: 479
I understand that. I'm always prepared for losing people I start to get attached to. just in case. i know it will happen eventually.

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