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#425539 - 02/17/13 02:24 PM I am surprised how easy it was...
SamV Offline

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5971
Loc: Sunnny, South East USA
I was just having a sandwich with a guy I have known for about three months regularly, I help out building and repairing things around his vacation cabin. We were in this dive gas station/cafe/bait shop and he started talking about the pope. I asked how long the pope had been in office, he answered and began to talk about the difficulties the pope had to respond to during his papacy, the sexual abuse, as he put, some of the monasteries were "cisterns of sexual abuse". I told him yes of course I knew about those as I volunteered on a website for male sexual abuse victims and we covered not only that but the Catholic Church scandal, Sandusky and the BSA as well as thousands of individual cases as well. I told him to think about the numbers and meaning of 1 in 6, he was floored!

He shared with me about his own brush with sexual abuse, how he had been in a sleep over with a neighbor some 40 years ago. The boy had simply pulled his pants down, bent over and told anyone in the tent to put their penis in his hole(sic), that it would be fun. Later he told me about a time a teenager had told him to come to his "fort", that they would have a good time. Both times he simply left, removing himself from the situation. I applauded his quick thinking.

He asked how I came to be involved with this site, I told him I had been abused as a child. My sister was abused by a landlord when she was 4 or 5, and she abused her three siblings when we were four or five. This was my FIRST such disclosure in such a casual, self confident manner, it was so natural, as if I had been creating awareness my whole life! It took him a few minutes to find his composure, we are in the US South, and such things are just not bantered about over a BLT. He was supportive and kind, as if we had been to the battle lines and a brotherhood through suffering had been formed.

I share this in the hopes that some day you too can share your story with in a safe environment with the stability of affirming recovery and expand your local support.

Much success and stability to you,
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

#425543 - 02/17/13 02:51 PM Re: I am surprised how easy it was... [Re: SamV]
Obi Offline

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1634
Loc: kansas

Edited by Obi (05/03/13 10:19 PM)
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

#425545 - 02/17/13 02:56 PM Re: I am surprised how easy it was... [Re: SamV]
LazyPirate Offline

Registered: 01/03/13
Posts: 106
Loc: Ontario
This story floored me! I have thought about talking to someone about CSA with such ease, but this seems like the holy grail. I applaud you for your bravery & candid insight. May we all find the strength to speak to others in this way, some day.
The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson

#425558 - 02/17/13 04:09 PM Re: I am surprised how easy it was... [Re: SamV]
cant_remember Offline

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1070
Bravo, Sam.

I'll be just fine and dandy
Lord, it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But I won't let sorrow get me way down.

#425614 - 02/18/13 12:12 AM Re: I am surprised how easy it was... [Re: SamV]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4199
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
good for you, Sam!

i love the fact that you were confident, comfortable and natural about it.

it shows great maturity and a healthy outlook.

How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3

#425620 - 02/18/13 01:27 AM Re: I am surprised how easy it was... [Re: SamV]
Lancer Offline

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Your story/experience illustrates an important point, Sam. The irreversable progress we've made. Ten, 15, 30+ years ago this was regularly swept under the carpet. In some cases it still is. No more.

As survivors, we've often been burdened with shame that was never ours to begin with.

With these crimes having seen the light of day, names such as the Catholic Church and Boy Scouts are now regularly associated with the term "pedophile"...and until they truly clean up their act, that's the way it should be.

The intrinsic shame is now a permanent part of these organizations' respective legacies. It will be with them a long time to come. And that's exactly where it belongs.

#425621 - 02/18/13 01:31 AM Re: I am surprised how easy it was... [Re: SamV]
Suwanee Offline
Chat Moderator

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1262
I'm impressed. I hope we all get to that point.

I've got this life
And the will to show
I will always be
Better than before



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