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#42545 - 07/30/02 10:52 AM shocked me, but in a good way
BlueOne Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 07/29/02
Posts: 27
In my family (dad, stepmom, half sisters) we've always been open about the realities of sexual abuse. My stepmom was a victim of SA and was the one that really kept me going at first when I thought I'd never make it towards "normal," whatever that is.

My sisters are 5, 8, and 11, and they know that some day somebody might try to hurt them. Not that they're paranoid about it, but because my stepmom's open about her abuse and I'm open about mine they know that it's a reality.

Anyway, the last time I was home we were sitting around the living room, and the youngest one looked at me and said, "Mommy lets me swear." And I said, "No, I don't think she does." And she said, "Yeah, she told me that if anybody tries to touch me where I don't wanna be touched I can tell him to fuck off."

I almost fell off the couch I was laughing so hard. Then the other two got in on it, and they were telling me how they were allowed to bite and hit and poke people in the eyes if they had to. Some of the words coming out of their mouths made *me* blush. Then they jumped around the living room screaming, "I'm gonna tell! I'm gonna tell!" and "You're a liar and a pervert and I'm gonna tell the world!"

I was kind of taken aback, worried that my stepmom had taught them curse words and to be violent if they had to, and then I thought, "Damn, I wish *my* mom had taught me that." Maybe we should raise all kids that way.

#42546 - 07/30/02 03:13 PM Re: shocked me, but in a good way
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
This is a great story, I love it. This is a good one to tell around. Those kids are going to be safer than the kids who are told nothing. I am still laughing imaining the sight in the living room.

If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

#42547 - 07/30/02 04:30 PM Re: shocked me, but in a good way
SoCalJohn Offline

Registered: 05/18/01
Posts: 510
Loc: Los Angeles, California
I have four kids and i have to tell you i smiled when i read that,, I think your right about the notion of bringing things out in the open and preparing the kids in age appropriate ways to deal with stuff like that, and sometimes even in not so age appropriate ways. your sisters and stepmom sound like a pretty fun bunch.


I asked him about this law he spoke of, he said,,, *watch* he then asked the others to share about their lives,,, the others talked of how things were for them, how things worked in their lives,,, and as they believed, it was so.

#42548 - 07/30/02 05:45 PM Re: shocked me, but in a good way
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Love it to bits BlueOne..... \:D \:D

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

#42550 - 07/30/02 09:21 PM Re: shocked me, but in a good way
Cement Offline

Registered: 06/05/02
Posts: 740
Loc: Southern California
The joy of childhood mixed perfectly with the harsh possibilities of life...what a bittersweet and wonderful cocktail

And let the darkness fear our light.

#42551 - 07/31/02 12:55 AM Re: shocked me, but in a good way
abcd Offline

Registered: 10/20/00
Posts: 189
Loc: GA

I just read your post (along with your survivor one), and I just wanted to say welcome--it's good to have another young guy on here (no offense to the regulars of course \:\) ). I haven't been on here in a while, but I will say that this forum does help me and helped me quite a bit initially. Right now, I'm still dealing with many issues. Though it seems like we are perhaps on opposite sides of the spectrum personality-wise, I can tell that we are similar in other ways. I'm glad that you have come out, seen therapists, and as you said in your original post, found comfort on the man upstairs. I, for one, found my faith when I first realized that I was abused (though I have yet to deal with the issues of sexuality and how exactly I will tell others about what had happened to me). Well, I'm babbling here, but really, I just wanted to say welcome (and also, good story). Take it easy.


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