hi, Paul - and welcome!
i was 5 when it started, too - and for a long time did not remember anything. most of it has come back to me in the last couple of years. it's hard to know which is worse - not knowing - or having to face it all. if you are anything like me, some of the stories you read here may trigger your own memories - or at least resonnate emotionally - and help you figute it out. this is a very supportive community that i have found to be a major contributor to my recovery.
all the best as you begin your journey with us,
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"