Yes, "rape" is an ugly word, but to me, it validates my feelings and my reactions in a way. It gives me permission to be somewhat fucked up, to need help, to not be ok all the time... I was raped, after all! I don't have to hide behind fancy phrases and "you know what I mean?"s any more. I can come out and say a simple 4 letter word, and it describes exactly what was done to me...[/quote]
Thanks for these thoughts, gentlemen. I read through the thread, and this being my second evening as a member, the theme of this is one I am working on with my counselor. I just can't verbally use the word rape in the same sentence of describing what has happened to me. Just like you guys for whatever reason, I know it will take time. Your words...my feelings... truly. ...just as c gecko says, I am fked up, I need help, but I am not okay most of the time... and maybe soon I can say OUT LOUD..."he raped me, and it hurts"... and he did, and it does...thanks, again guys.
For now we see through a glass, darkly.