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#4224 - 08/10/03 01:04 AM What is life without hurting like?
bikergary Offline

Registered: 01/18/03
Posts: 32
Loc: Nevada
Today while writing to a friend I said I was doing well and not hurting. It then occurred to me that I really don't know if I am hurting or not as I have no frame of reference. As far back as I can remember in childhood I hurt badly. I now know the SA started when I was about 6 months old? I hurt from then forward. Thinking about it I probably am still hurting, it is just so much less than it was. A danger I see is not completing the healing process because I may think I am not hurting when it is a matter of the pain just being greatly reduced.

On a positive note to all my brothers that are in suffering big time pain, don't give up. It definitely gets better. The pain will greatly deminish. It takes time and work but it gets LOTS better.
Keep up the fight.

Thanks to all for making this a safe place to come for support, help, and comfort.



WoR Alumni - Hope Springs, Oct 23-25, 2009

#4225 - 08/10/03 01:46 AM Re: What is life without hurting like?
Sick Puppy Offline

Registered: 03/30/03
Posts: 300
Loc: Nowhere Land
I feel the same a lot of the time. A friend will ask me how I am feeling, and I will tell them I am sad. Then I'll realize that I always say I am sad, because I always am...

But what if I'm not sad after all? How do I tell? I don't remember a time when I wasn't sad. I don't know what to compare it to. I was being abused before I could even talk, and ever since I have learned to verbalize my feelings the emotions I express to others have always been the negative ones. (Sad, angry, in pain, lonely, etc...)

And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly
From the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see

Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

#4226 - 08/10/03 03:13 AM Re: What is life without hurting like?
outis Offline

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2261
Loc: Maryland USA
Damn, I don't want to whine because I really do have a lot of good in my life. But sometimes I feel like this, too. This past week I kept looking at a post Orodo put in the music section, the lyrics to an Enya song, "'S Fágaim Mo Bhaile." I wanted to reply about how I have never been home, so how could I ever leave, and so on.

Even now, writing this and concious of how much good I have, I feel like I'm not home, not safe. Maybe this is one of the hard wired reactions and it just takes time to run new wiring? I don't know.



"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse


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