Hey Gary, well we knew that you are not crazy already
There is something in validation and acceptance when seeing it written in paper, black and white.
It is kind of acknowledgment for those who were responsible and who caused damage and stress making you living in fears while you should be child and thinking on games, school and friends; it is confirmation how destructive and toxic they were. It is their terrible legacy and I should say their "diagnosis".
You put it nicely:
"there's something wrong with me but there's not something wrong with me"
Well "they" were that wrong thing around you...
I hope this will help you with your journey, it is time to move to breasts, ups, sorry
, to your further healing