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#421846 - 01/11/13 01:31 PM How many male survivors who were CSA are heterosex
honey Offline

Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 2
are heterosexual ???

I know a few men who are gay and suffer CSA by another man .
I wonder if CSA cause homosexuality or bisexuality or was it just a coincidence ??

Of all the men who had gone through CSA by another man , how many % usually end up as heterosexual when they grow up and settle down with a woman and family of their own ??

#421848 - 01/11/13 02:07 PM Re: How many male survivors who were CSA are heterosex [Re: honey]
unhappycamper Offline

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 754
Loc: VA
Let's see... I was CSA'd at age 6, and I'm straight, married (to a woman) with kids; former NHL stars Sheldon Kennedy and Theo Fleury are also married with kids; lots of guys on this site have wives, GF's, kids...

If there's any connection between male-on-male CSA and a boy's homosexuality, I suspect it's simply that the perpetrator senses and uses the boy's insecurity as yet another form of youthful vulnerability.


#421852 - 01/11/13 03:40 PM Re: How many male survivors who were CSA are heterosex [Re: honey]
Suwanee Offline
Chat Moderator

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1281

Edited by Suwanee (02/21/16 04:35 PM)
I've got this life
And the will to show
I will always be
Better than before

#421854 - 01/11/13 04:10 PM Re: How many male survivors who were CSA are heterosex [Re: honey]
genedebs Offline

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 347
Loc: MO
There is a lot of data that suggests these are unrelated (homosexuality and CSA). I have seen no data on bisexuals. For myself, I am straight. I am currently in a non-sexual relationship, but I was married for more than 25 years and had 4 kids, the youngest is now 33.

I hope this helps. None of my CSA (5 different perps) did not include a male. My mother directed my photo session when I was 12 but the photographer was male. Although I do not remember CSA with this photographer, I do remember having under wear on my head and otherwise naked and photographed. I was about 4 at that time.

#421855 - 01/11/13 04:21 PM Re: How many male survivors who were CSA are heterosex [Re: honey]
1lifenow Offline

Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 437
Loc: west coast
Interesting question.
Likely multifactorial reasons for non heterosexuality from genetics to maternal hormonal influences, epigenetics to imprinting to honestly who the hell knows. Likely not the flip Wilson as 'Geraldine' cause tho.

I have been to one WoR and based on my other group experience I unscientific ally estimate about 4o to 50% were str8, 30 to 40% gay, 20 to 30 % ish bi and/or uncertain. And about 10% asexual or just plain done with the whole damn thing. Cuz as one of the best posts ever stated. " csa represses the persons own sense of sexuality"

I now identify as gay. But I was happily ( yet vaguely unsettled) married for years. Have great kids, great ex. Life got better when I stopped asking why and just accepted I am the most loving person to others when I gave up the guilt and shame and anger and blame.
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

WoR Barrie 2011

#421856 - 01/11/13 04:28 PM Re: How many male survivors who were CSA are heterosex [Re: honey]
blacken Offline
Chat Moderator

Registered: 08/13/01
Posts: 1908
Loc: Northern Ohio
It can be looked at another way.

Gay, as an identity.
Homosexuality, as a behavior.
Straight as an identity.
Hextrosexual as a behavior.

Many men struggle with same sex attraction (SSA) whether they identify as Straight or not.
A man can consider themselves Gay, yet be married with children.
Also, consider themselves Straight (married with kids or not) & seek out other men for sex.

The old gender definitions, donít seem to apply.
CSA can really make it difficult to figure out how we think of our sexual identity now, or would have been without the abuse
Men (or women) who sexually abuse boys (or girls) arenít generally interested in the victims future sexual identity development. They may not actually be knowledgeable on what that process is in a child. Just as a child doesn't know what a "spinal reflex" is, nor would the perp. But any such reaction from a boy, would be seen as the child is enjoying the interaction. And of course we know how that is used against us.

Here are a few of normal human reflexes that can occur during abuse, which the victim/abuser may interpret as willingness to the interaction.

Cremasteric reflex stimulation of the skin on the front and inner thigh retracts the testis on the same side.

Hypogastric reflex contraction of the muscles of the lower abdomen on stroking the skin on the inner surface of the thigh.

Bulbospongiosus reflex contraction of the bulbospongiosus muscle in response to a tap on the dorsum of the penis.
A lengthy definition of this can be found at this link, Nowhere does it discuss sexual identity as being a factor.

Anal reflex contraction of the anal sphincter on irritation of the anal skin.

Abdominal reflexes contractions of the abdominal muscles on stimulation of the abdominal skin.

#421858 - 01/11/13 07:36 PM . [Re: honey]
Life's A Dream Offline

Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island

Edited by Life's A Dream (01/13/13 01:52 AM)

#421861 - 01/11/13 08:54 PM Re: How many male survivors who were CSA are heterosex [Re: honey]
Robert1000 Offline

Registered: 06/27/12
Posts: 453
As genedebs said, the two are unrelated, at least that's what decades of science tells us.

It's like when people think that gay people are pedophiles. No, gay people are not pedophiles. Some pedophiles happen to be gay, but most are straight. Likewise, some people who have been victimized by pedophiles (or other sexual abusers) happen to be gay, while others happen to be straight.

Do victims of CSA have red hair? Well, some do, but what about it?

That said... blacken has a really good point about how gender and sexual identity can get screwed up for victims of CSA.



#421879 - 01/12/13 03:38 AM Re: How many male survivors who were CSA are heterosex [Re: honey]
Chase Eric Offline

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2826
Well, I count 4 straight and 1 gay so far.

I am gay, although I think some might argue I am straight with SSA because I do find women attractive enough to feel a sexual tide. I think I may have been fundamentally bisexual and who knows where I would have gone had not the confuser stepped into our lives. I know that one of my co-victims (a girl) hated men so much after that that she thought she might be a lesbian.

I don't buy the idea that the abuse - especially at the formative years of sexual awakening - has no effect on future sexual orientation.

It used to kill me that he could have decided the course of my sexual identity. But I then realized what really was killing me was fighting it - because it meant I was still dealing with him. Accepting my sexuality means taking it out of his hands. He just doesn't own me any more.

#421880 - 01/12/13 04:13 AM Re: How many male survivors who were CSA are heterosex [Re: honey]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
Str8 here
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

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