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#42186 - 05/01/05 09:26 PM deleted
Charlie Offline

Registered: 02/27/05
Posts: 148

#42187 - 05/01/05 09:38 PM Re: deleted
LostinPA Offline

Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 120
Loc: Lancaster, PA
An unequivocal YES you can be yourself and tell your story. This place will stank beside you and support you. So do come in, it is safe.


#42188 - 05/01/05 09:56 PM Re: deleted
reality2k4 Offline

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Hi Charlie, you read so much of older people not remembering and stuff, and I am one of them. It is not that i dont remember, it is my mind that push it to one side to just get on with life.
You are really welcome here, and nobody will treat you any different because you are young, we certainly dont think you are naive or dumb.
I am sorry you are going thru so much pain, and it sure isnt easy. The path to healing, is to talk about it and get it out, but it does not go away overnight. Take your own time, and dont be pushed into anything, it is you who are healing, and not the grownups in your life. The grownups here are suffering because they never had anyone to turn to when they felt like you do, so the hurt was never addressed as a kid.
At least you have this place to turn to, it is not easy in here sometimes, but at least you are not alone with it.
Dont be sorry, I spent all my life being sorry, but it is part of the guilt thing that goes with it.
I hope you can drop the mask, and just be you again, but I think you have to get a good T, somewhere in the future.
Just post as and when you want, and another good idea is to keep a journal, I wish I did, all those years ago,

take care,


Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

#42189 - 05/01/05 11:51 PM Re: deleted
RICK57 Offline

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Charlie - this is a safe place. You can say as little or as much as you want here. I have been coming here for around 16 months now - in all that time no one has ever judged me, but many have supported me.

Best wishes ...Rik

*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

#42190 - 05/01/05 11:55 PM Re: deleted
ScottyTodd Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 02/12/03
Posts: 1561
Loc: Pennsylvania
Good to see you posting, Charlie!! You are correct about the way some of our pasts (teen years) are places many shy away from. But I do believe this is a place for MALE SURVIVORS. You are male! You certainly are a survivor - hospital and all! Post as you feel comfortable!!! You are not alone!!


If you think you can or you can't - you're right!.......anon
It's never too late to have a happy childhood!.....anon
You're very normal for the abnormal situation you've been through..............S. Todd

#42191 - 05/02/05 01:51 AM Re: deleted
sophiesdad Offline

Registered: 04/30/05
Posts: 462
Loc: Florida
Dear Charlie:
As everyone else has said, this is a good and safe place for you. I was fortunate enough at one point to have a Male Survivor's group in "real time" where I live. Unfortunately, it eventually dispanded because of lack of funding. This group is, in some respects, an even better forum (at least for me) because I find it hard to bare my soul, my deepest thoughts, fears and weaknesses when face to face with others.
No matter what, you have come to the right place. You will find it comforting to know that there are many others who share the same problems that you are going thru - you won't feel alone.
I hope that you will find the help, some answers and healing through sharing with others.
I am one of those people who cannot remember much of anything before age 12 or 13. I've realized that it's because much of it is too painful for my mind to handle and therefore I've blocked it out completely. As I go through my healing process, I start to remember things, but only as much as I can handle at that time. I liken it to peeling away the layers of an onion. Each layer brings its share of tears, but brings me closer to the core of who I am.


There are no unresolved issues - they just didn't resolve themselves the way we would have liked. "Grinder and Bandler - Neuro-Linguistic Programming"

#42192 - 05/02/05 01:55 AM Re: deleted
PhillyPa Offline

Registered: 12/20/04
Posts: 64
Loc: Philadelphia, PA
Charlie, welcome aboard - your post mirrored my inhibitions as well. I'm 29 but still trapped between childhood and adulthood. Masks and all - wanting to be safe, accepted, validated, believed. Despite my earlier post (which wasnt clear), I never felt rejected from anyone here. In fact, this is solace for me. I often reread my posts and feel stupid! Then, i stay away for a few months. But, now i'm back and the guys on here never reacted bad. Are you someone who masks stubbornly? I mean, do people around you know your masking and do they seem to "roll their eyes" at the drama? I completely feel this from others and wondered if that was case yourself. Good luck

Who is this doing the synthetic type of alpha beta psychedelic funkin?

#42194 - 05/02/05 06:09 AM Re: deleted
Nathan LaChine Offline

Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 5423
Loc: Washington State

Hey bro it has been far too long since I ahve seen you around here. You are always welcome here my friend. I am glad that you are here. Yes sometime the older members here do forget their past cause it is too painful for them. Hell if you do say the wrong thing o well that is why you can hit reply and say sorry bout that. Hell I say the wrong alot in chat you know that ;\) Its all good bro.

Lots of love, Nathan

PS: Hope to see you around.

#42195 - 05/03/05 05:30 PM Re: deleted
Charlie Offline

Registered: 02/27/05
Posts: 148

#42196 - 05/03/05 08:00 PM Re: deleted
ForeverFighting Offline

Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 1253
Loc: New Mexico, USA
I've read posts where guys say they don't remember anything from before they were 13. Maybe they have this idea that all young people are naive and innocent, dumb even. Maybe they remember it wrong. Abuse changes you in a big way. It's changed me and everything I thought I knew.
It's good to have you back, Charlie. I don't remember most of my teen years and a few years after my family moved me to town. It's not because I think those years were dumb or not worth remembering. It's because they were so horrible, living with my mom and dad and being stuck in the house with them, that I made myself forget. It's a way we have of protecting ourselves. You being here is going to help you remember. I didn't have a place like this or anybody else to talk to. I was alone, living with cold, violent people. I had to forget. I don't think any of us here could ever talk about "puppies or fluffy rabbits". We're all about "pain, sadness, confusion, loss, disbelief, broken pieces. F-cked up." At a time in life when we're supposed to be able to trust and feel loved and happy, we were betrayed, ignored, and used. I don't want to remember that.

You're in the right place. This is where we talk about the pain and the broken pieces. Write all you want. I think most of the guys here know what it's like to try to make life out of a nightmare. And if I remember your story right, you certainly lived the nightmare.

I hope you find peace here. We're listening.

"This search for the truth--it's not for the faint of heart."--Goren on 'Law & Order: CI'
"The former things will not be called to mind, nor will they come up into the heart."--Isaiah 65:17

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