D - i'm no expert - but i am skeptical. from my experience - several students who had this condition - they are very unaware of relationship issues - totally clueless that there is even a problem. that definitely doesn't sound like you. thos i have known didn't seem to even want close relationships that involved emotions - almost mechanical in their ways of interacting with others - or nearly totally closed off.
take a deep breath and a giant step back from this TENTATIVE SUGGESTION. if you've got it - my guess is it is a VERY mild form. Please stop worrying until you know more.
"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"