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#421612 - 01/09/13 06:30 AM Is there reason to hope?
mkn10 Offline

Registered: 06/30/12
Posts: 27
Just wondering.... do any women on here in a relationship/marriage with a survivor have a positive story of their survivor recovering and becoming the man they always knew was in there?

Feeling a bit hopless at the moment, and wondering if someday things will be better. All comments welcome.

#421618 - 01/09/13 07:10 AM Re: Is there reason to hope? [Re: mkn10]
lostpartner32 Offline

Registered: 06/19/12
Posts: 17
Loc: southeast
I am only 6 months out from when my life changed forever. Ad in my husband finaaly had to tell me of the abuse or lose his family. He had been acting out some and I had found out. It was rough the first couple of months. We almost did not make it thru together. He started therapy in June, and after the couple of rough patches, there are good moments and still some bad, but those are getting fewer and fewer as months go on. There is hope in what feels like a hopeless situation. Keep.your head up. Hope this helps some.

#421799 - 01/11/13 12:13 AM Re: Is there reason to hope? [Re: mkn10]
Esposa Offline

Registered: 10/19/11
Posts: 811
Loc: NJ
We must knock on wood before we answer wink

#421810 - 01/11/13 02:12 AM Re: Is there reason to hope? [Re: mkn10]
genedebs Offline

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 378
Loc: MO
Hi mkn 10

I have a relationship with a woman. We are friends, Once a two years ago we were lovers, Now we are close friends. No sex. She knows I am a survivor, she has known for 20 odd years about my sexual and physical abuse in my childhood.

Things are better, I had to stand up for myself in my marriage of 25 years. She did not acknowledge that my CSA was having an effect on my current life, nor would she acknowledge her childhood sexual abuse, her date rapes, or the advances made by the father while she was responsible for the 0 - 2 year old daughter.

Still 25 years and 4 kids is a significant relationship. I now have 5 grandkids. None of my kids has divorces, the oldest is 40. youngest is 33, three graduated from college the 4th is a master electrician. So there are some pieces of our lives that work.

#421816 - 01/11/13 03:46 AM Re: Is there reason to hope? [Re: mkn10]
karin4him Offline

Registered: 03/18/12
Posts: 23
Loc: Illinois
There is always reason to hope!!! I have done EMDR for my own CSA and my husband has been sober now for 2 years and has given up porn. He is now working with a therapist to work through his CSA. Our marriage is now probably more honest and intimate-in relationship to the emotional aspect, but the physical is better too- in the last year than most of our marriage.

#422007 - 01/13/13 10:16 PM Re: Is there reason to hope? [Re: mkn10]
mkn10 Offline

Registered: 06/30/12
Posts: 27
Thanks guys, your stories really did bring me hope and was rejuvinated to go back in and have a good go at making things work!

I am so very sad to say though that I lost and his abuse won!

One last episode of going AWOL, ignoring all contact with me, shutting me out of his home - I guess it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I had a breakdown and realised that it was so unhealthy for me.


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