"...a kindly balanced tranquility, edging into some kind of trigger, looking over to some kind of fleeting peace." Your voice is so beautifully present in your writing.
First, I can think of no real symbols that I have attached myself to in order to move forward. No one I can relate to, emulate, look up to, or be with in fiction or in reality. There is just a mirror, just me, continually emerging memories and understanding, and the men I read of on MS.
In dealing with my own story, it seems at this point it is exposing itself a chapter at a time. And that is how I am dealing with it... the totality of the whole is just too much for me to safely try to understand, so through posting, therapy, and self- actualization my story is unfolding.
Some sections are difficult, other parts are difficult, and what is to come will be difficult as well. (It is hard to pull together and share indeed, even in the smaller segments.) There are some parts so painfully, shamefully a part of the story that I have yet to share them with the guys here, and I have shared the most inner parts of myself already. Unfortunately, there is even that deeper level of shameful admissions... and no, a survivor of CSA should never feel shame, but we all know it is a reality. So, my story will continue to evolve and to come forth from the darkness as I become stronger and healthier. But this is how my story is being told. A small chapter at a time. Bit by bit.
Again, welcome. And share when you are ready and comfortable. You will be amazed in the lifting of your spirit that you will find... and need.
Edited by ThisMan (06/16/13 07:48 PM)
Edit Reason: grammatical
For now we see through a glass, darkly.