Happy new year!
Thank you for the lovely PM's I have received and for those that have given their honest and giving thoughts to me so far here.
Having spoken to a couple of other DID survivors partners, I thought this may be of help. Even people whose partners suffer from a degree of disassociation, this gives a lot of insight. The couple that run it are a DID survivor and her partner Rob. She had no CSA memories at all, until her breakdown, at which point the trauma emerged. Shes now 7 years into healing and doing brilliantly.
***** Any survivors visiting this site please be aware that some articles may trigger, so go gently *****http://www.pods-online.org.uk/
There are some truly brilliant things to light the way for living with this, or as a partner supporting DID. It has helped us a lot and learning why and how DID works has given me a whole new respect for how our mind protects us when survival is at stake. It is a scary thing, but also powerful and something I am in awe of. Without his DID, i don't think my partner would have survivied. It isn't the enemy, and that is the important thing for both of us to learn.
Learning about what actually happens in the brain and physiologically during a trigger has also helped me separate them from my own emotional reactions to them. The knowledge has helped me create a little space in between his experience, and my resulting response, to take it less personally because I know more about what goes on behind it. I'm not buddha so obviously this space totally disappears and I am left struggling, but it is a start!
Love to all