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#420179 - 12/26/12 09:43 PM Need help deciding on therapists
CloudyFalls Offline

Registered: 07/19/12
Posts: 173
Loc: Ohio
I don't know what to do in this instance. I miss my original therapist greatly, I would go as far as saying I love her (as a person of course), she helped me through my darkest times and I know for a fact she cared for my well being and maybe even she loved me too. I mean love as in a family like love. I've thought a lot about going back to her because I had such a good rapport with her. But she is by no means an expert on CSA, she's even told me I was one of her most difficult cases. I kinda got duped out of seeing her when I went out to seek group therapy, but I somehow got stuck with a new therapist at this firm that does group therapy as well. I thought it was just temporary until I got into group but it wasn't. So because I can't see 2 therapists at the same time I had to let my other one go. But now I'm in a group at this place, so I guess now would be a good time to switch back if I wanted.

Now about my current therapist. If we're talking about how the therapist makes me FEEL, maybe I would consider firing him, as I don't feel any genuine care from his part, and I don't feel any relationship with him. I don't particularly like him much, yet I have never met a man whom I felt comfortable discussing my emotions with. BUT he is a specialist in CSA so technically he's "the best choice". But I have many complaints about him. Firstly he doesn't keep any records of my sessions, he doesn't write anything down, and he hardly says much. I talk and talk but I don't feel like he really gives me any introspective analysis or helpful guidelines or plans on how to deal with my emotions other than like breathe deep if you think you're going to have a panic attack.

Now on a side note, firing my therapist is not a simple thing to do. I don't know how to judge how much help they are to me, when I don't do the things they're telling me to. So again, I am unable to take action, and in action only I can help myself. This is why my original therapist suggested I seek group therapy, to help with my social anxiety (As well as CSA issues) and getting out to take actions. At that point she said she wasn't really any help to me because I was "stuck". But as to my current therapist he thinks I've made progress yet I haven't so I feel like he's lying to me. I know I've been stuck for awhile now.

So my options now are to stay with my current therapist at the same firm that the group therapies are held. (Having 2 programs to help with my CSA). Or staying with the group and moving back to my original therapist which I have a great rapport with. So I'd have the group for CSA and a therapist with whom I have a great connection with and I feel comfortable talking to, but is not an expert on CSA.

Also, if I do decide to "Fire" my current therapist, how do I go about that, it would be hard for me to do. I don't know how I'd bring it up. It'd be like basically saying look, you're a lousy therapist and I don't particularly like you so I'm done with you.
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein

#420188 - 12/26/12 10:35 PM * [Re: CloudyFalls]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 2217

Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 05:36 PM)

#420202 - 12/27/12 04:32 AM Re: Need help deciding on therapists [Re: CloudyFalls]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
I left a therapist that I liked and had been seeing for two years. He was the first person I ever told about my CSA. I wanted to see someone who specialized in trauma recovery and EMDR. We discussed it and my first therapist agreed that would be a good move for me.

I suggest that you talk with your current therapist and explain what you feel you need, that you're not getting. If he reacts negatively, you have your opening for deciding to go elsewhere. If he reacts positively, then you hopefully will start getting more of what you need from him. Either way you have a responsibility to YOURSELF to do whats best for you, not whats best for the therapist.
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#420254 - 12/28/12 12:00 AM Re: Need help deciding on therapists [Re: CloudyFalls]
little big man Offline

Registered: 06/19/10
Posts: 123
Loc: nevada
I now see an expert in csa. It has always been what I needed. Seen GP theripists that never had the insight. Im not a difficult case with him nor would you be with an expert. Having someone who knows so much about csa really has been more helpfull than any other theripist Ive had
There is the Thinker and with meditation, the one who watches the Thinker. Get to know the one who watches the thinking. The mind is inherantly pure, we can always go there. An empty mind is a ready mind, it is ready for anything.

#420261 - 12/28/12 02:56 AM * [Re: CloudyFalls]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 2217

Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 05:38 PM)


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