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#419328 - 12/17/12 05:42 AM This helped me a little...maybe it will help you
RachelMac Offline

Registered: 08/26/12
Posts: 58
So I noticed that when my H and I aren't connecting and communicating well, and I get upset, I do research about PTSD and CSA so that I can try to understand. I know in my heart that my husband doesn't mean to hurt me, but some days it's hard to see that. In my research one day on the issues Secondary Survivors have as a part of walking this journey with their loved one, I came across a forum post on another site that really helped me understand a little better how he thinks and why. It is written from a female survivor's perspective, but it really helped me understand a bit more of WHY he feels what he feels. It also helped me see better ways I can respond and react so that he feels safe. So here it is. Maybe it will help someone else here.
A Letter to Secondary Survivor

#419374 - 12/17/12 05:17 PM Re: This helped me a little...maybe it will help you [Re: RachelMac]
Candu Offline

Registered: 07/01/12
Posts: 312
Loc: Canada
I wonder if only a woman could have written that. Or maybe I just have such a difficult time connecting the dots. Maybe having lived with this for so long I can't see the forest for the trees. While not all of it is a fit so much of it is so painfully on the mark in my case.

Thanks for posting this. It has been helpful.

#419400 - 12/18/12 01:03 AM Re: This helped me a little...maybe it will help you [Re: RachelMac]
RachelMac Offline

Registered: 08/26/12
Posts: 58
It may not help everyone. I know everyone hurts differently and everyone heals differently. I know it makes me feel stronger when I can understand what will make my H more comfortable and if making him more comfortable in our home can help our relationship, I will learn how. Glad it helped someone.


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