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#419255 - 12/16/12 02:47 AM Re: Newtown, CT [Re: Still]
peroperic2009 Offline

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3827
Loc: South-East Europe
This is such a tragedy frown
I don't ask myself where is the God but rather where is the wisdom despairing from today modern world and with such speed?
No matter on advanced technology it seems that we can so easily fail to be human and use our resources only in destructive manner, I refuse to accept that as a fact and I'm keeping my hope for better future.
Hope is the only thing left that we can have in such terrible moments.
My story

#419282 - 12/16/12 05:25 PM * [Re: Still]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217

Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 01:22 PM)

#419286 - 12/16/12 05:43 PM Re: Newtown, CT [Re: Still]
SamV Offline

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5959
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
They will Gary, those on the outside, unaffected will blindly continue their lives. What we need to take away from this is that 20 families will not have their child to tuck in, to play ball, to graduate and have careers and get married. Those people who have lost, they do not get their lives back. They will suffer for decades. Those outside people however, will have a brief look at tremendous pain and suffering, and hopefully when a child protection referendum is voted on or a child is in danger it will move them to action instead of allowing more children to suffer. A small amount of awareness moves the proverbial "mountain" in favor of awareness and advocacy.

That is why MS is here, to support male sexual abuse victims and their supporters finds the hurt child and grow with them. In looking around the web, there is nothing to compare with the level of immediacy and intense support as found at MS. Someone became aware of the pain and tremendous suffering of male sexual abuse survivors and began this organization, from a small amount of awareness.

While I hope this tragedy never occurs again, we know that something good comes from it. Someone responds, someone changes, someone acts. Your post here is something good that came from it as you reach out in sympathy and support for those suffering. Your generosity is more than you may have been at one time, a positive step.
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

#419305 - 12/16/12 08:46 PM Re: Newtown, CT [Re: Still]
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1
I think back on Beslan, the Amish School, Conyers GA....NO ONE around me even remembers them. I guess its human nature...a survival thing of the normals possibly?

I have always been slain by these things, and for long periods of time. Etan Patz was my first experience with this sort of pain; pain that others feel is not at a reasonable level nor duration. Yesterday, I saw my father. He did not even say a word about the murders, even after I asked if he heard about it. He had the same reaction when Karen died on 9-11.

My ex use to look at me like I was nuts when and whereas I would mourn for two weeks for stranger-children who were lost, abducted, raped, murdered...

Today, I looked at I looked at the pictures of 8 or 9 victims. I was slain for them all. People say "don't tourture yourself thinking about it." Freinds and relatives will say "oh man....i can't even think about it."

I recognize that I cannot and will not look away. Those children had to endure what they did. the least I can do is know what they endured.

See, the trouble is, the normals all around me say the same thing about what I experienced. but they don't tell me to look away from something that happened to others. They are saying to ignore and forget what happened to not talk or think about it.

I call them "my silos of horrors." They are great silos filled with the memories and screams and pain and sadness and loss and isolation that I had to keep from the normals as a child. So they expect a child to live through hell and then they state very clearly that they will not even care to hear what's in those silos.

They judge read my journal and called my the contents "very disturbing." He was "disturbed" that he had to read the accounts and recollections of a small boy. he was disturbed that I wrote them down after 35 years. No one wants to recognize horrors. no one wants to hear them...even though children had to endure them.

My father does not want to hear what happened to his son. My sister does not want to hear what happened to her younger brother. Its already happening in the public with regard to Sandy Bend Elementary.

It makes absolutely no humane sense to me.

#419358 - 12/17/12 08:49 AM Re: Newtown, CT [Re: Still]
unhappycamper Offline

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 753
Loc: VA
I wish I could give each of the kids one last hug.


#419370 - 12/17/12 11:07 AM Re: Newtown, CT [Re: unhappycamper]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA

#419381 - 12/17/12 01:33 PM Re: Newtown, CT [Re: Still]
Mountainous Buck Offline

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1631
Loc: Minnesota
It is NOT from Lanzas mom.

It is from a woman with a son with "special needs".
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

#419387 - 12/17/12 02:38 PM Re: Newtown, CT [Re: Still]
cant_remember Offline

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1070
One thing that I keep thinking about -- is that the kids who survived this will be getting immediate post-trauma care, grief counseling, and a watchful eye from the entire community to see if any of them develop PTSD.

I don't mean to undermine the horror of these events in any way... however, the survivors of it are better off than us, in that at least for them, their trauma wasn't taboo.

There's not an enforced silence over the crimes committed against them. No shame in having survived it (other than survivor guilt, which is bound to be an issue).

The worst thing about carrying around the damage of CSA is encountering the taboo when we reach out for help. These kids won't have that problem, thankfully.

But if we CSA'ers have it worse than shooting survivors, there is another group that has it worst of all: the parents of the slain. Even with this event in the rear-view mirror, every birthday and holiday will be a terrible burden.

God bless Newtown, the shooter's victims, and the survivors.

I'll be just fine and dandy
Lord, it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But I won't let sorrow get me way down.

#419388 - 12/17/12 03:31 PM Re: Newtown, CT [Re: cant_remember]

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3615
I have that same thought--the children who lived through the shootings--seeing the gunman and bullets flying can only have horrific memories. Their lives will forever be changed. Hopefully, all will receive comprehensive care and counsel. Even though these children and adults survived they will face their own challenges of accepting and integrating these events into their lives. Many will be able to achieve a sense of acceptance, but others for unknown reasons will not be able to accept and will be haunted for a lifetime. They will encounter triggers--a loud noise, a sound or place--and may turn to vices to escape the pain. My heart goes out for all the children and adults who loss their life from this senseless and selfish act but we cannot forget those that survived and lived through these traumatic events. I am hopefully, people will not react--get over it, move on or try to deny these events impacted their lives because they survived. As a child trauma impacts the mind profoundly and years later children victimized can experience PTSD and may be deprived of the life they deserved.

Let's remember those who lost their lives as well as the survivors who directly lived through these traumatic events.

#419423 - 12/18/12 01:57 AM Re: Newtown, CT [Re: pufferfish]
crazy gecko Offline

Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Originally Posted By: pufferfish

She's awfully quick to assume that Adam Lanza was like her son.

What I want to know is this - why did he kill the his mother, principle and the school councillor. Where they just in the wrong place at the wrong time when he started shooting, or did he seek them out? None of the news reports I have read have told me this...

My heart really breaks for the families of those little kids... When I read about this for the first time, all I wanted to do was hold my daughter and make sure she is safe. I cannot imagine what those parents are going through. I don't even want to imagine it. And the survivors too, yes. I hope they get proper help, and not a once-off counselling session. We know how much work it takes to get over serious trauma, and seeing your friends shot in front of your eyes, at school... wow. That's some serious trauma right there...
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

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