I've posted a statement on the MS FB page, and I also suggest anyone who is feeling triggered to reach out for support here in the forums and read through the Tips post at the top of every forum thread.
5 years 9 months.... that's how long it takes to put them together, to reach the age most of the kids today were.
Really "hands-on", it's five years. Five years of your life - completely recentered around his or her life, everything of your own put lower, everything done for them, lived for them, any tiny advantage or help or joy to be given to them. Five years of blowing on food, of singing when they cry, of talking to them like adults and telling them secrets when you know they are too young to speak, five years of special buddies or princesses or helpers. Five years with an external heart - caring for it because you'll die without it. Five years of practicing, of teaching, of firsts, of it's-okaying, five years of making it all better, five years of signing the stupid thank-you notes like it's from them. Five years of seeing all the goodness and hope you could make. A three-year-old can talk like a six-year-old; a five-year-old can understand with you, hope with you, huddle and whisper with you.
And in one-tenth of a second it's just stained clumps of hair and they are nothing and neither are you. Without reason, without mercy, without bargaining or begging or fixing, without even being able to die wrapped around them to feel like in the last moment they had an ounce of your protection, of comfort, of anything it had all ever meant.
Five years and then nothing. Nothing. A gold chain round their neck, a goodbye song, a rock with words they would have spelled out slowly. Five years of everything solely for a lifetime of suffering.
Except, that is, if it was six, seven, eight, nine, or ten years.
There are times I regret our evolution, that the world would be better off belonging only to those creatures without identity, without selves, without hopes, without time. Like right now.
It is so sad, the poor young children--life so young--robbed of a future and those children who had to witness or hear the shootings will be forever changed. Newtown is two towns over from my own hometown. A town that was one of our sports rivals. I was in Newtown several weeks ago--a picturesque Ct town. It was in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy and during a personal trying time. The area suffered deeply from Sandy and now this senseless atrocity. I pray for the children, the adults and all that are affected by this tragedy.
I was triggered big time when I first heard about the shootings. I turn on to watch Dr. Phil and instead I see the horrific news that 20 little angels have been murdered. I couldn't stand it. What did those poor children ever do to that monster? Why did he feel the need to kill them? Another tragedy is the fact that we will probably never know. Senseless massacre after senseless massacre.
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