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#41919 - 06/15/06 07:03 PM Was it something that I did ?

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 983
I was raped in 1977 at the age of 18 by another soldger . I wonder if I had done something to cause this to happen . It is common for soldgers to become friends and pal around in the army . The person that raped me I thought was my friend .
Today if I ever find him I would beat the crap out of him to say the least .
Is it common to blame your self ?
Why Have I not goten any help from the Army or the VA to find and arrest this person for his crimes ?



"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

#41920 - 06/15/06 08:07 PM Re: Was it something that I did ?
Jaysen Offline

Registered: 06/14/06
Posts: 680

I'm new here. I had to comment on this. From everything I've read here and based on my own personal feelings I'd say yes it's pretty common to blame yourself. However, what in the world do you think you could have possibly done to cause that to happen? I don't know you from a hole in the wall and I can say with certainty that you didn't do anything to cause what happened!

I haven't even come close to addressing my own issues yet but I don't blame myself, I don't think I caused what happened. If nothing else I was too willing to trust, too drunk, in the wrong place at the wrong time. But that doesn't make what happened right, that doesn't give the guys that took me any excuse.

I'm sure you haven't gotten any help or made any reports because you blame yourself? Maybe you feel like no one will believe you? Or they'll think it's what you wanted, deserved, etc. Same reasons why it took me so long. Being here is helping me to see that I was wrong about all of that.


#41921 - 06/18/06 03:23 AM Re: Was it something that I did ?
RICK57 Offline

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
It's not something you did - they are opportunists!

If they want to abuse, they will identify a person / situation where they best think they will be able to carry out their fantasies. They often plan welll in advance how they intend to manipulate a situation.

I was 12 when I was abused, but due to events in my life at that time, I was a ripe opportunity for the perv. If luck had gone another way, I could equally have met new friends, rather than meeting that monster!

I was an was just the wrong opportunist that came along!

Best wishes ...Rik

*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

#41922 - 06/18/06 05:57 AM Re: Was it something that I did ?
Ken Followell Offline
Past President

Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 992
Loc: Bradenton, FL
No it is not your fault, even though it is common for us to blame ourselves. I don't k now why you have not received help from the military perhaps some of the other guys with military experience could answer that.

Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel


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