We understand a lot of it because we are going through it. Even so for me I didn't really think the CSA was so big a deal. Until things got bad for me starting two years ago and I was trying to figure out why. In the end I had to include the CSA. So then I did a lot of reading and learned a lot and discovered that the CSA was more significant than I thought it was.
She (hopefully) has not experienced anything like this. We did and at an age where the harm was even more significant. It has effected us. It is not just a bad experience it was a major trama event.
My guess is that she doesn't understand how deep that this effects us. How badly it has damaged us. Maybe she doesn't want to believe and is in denial. That's why she doesn't like you here with the freeks. That you just had a bad experience and you should just get over it and forget it.
The was a post last night in Family and Friends with a link to a post from aftersilence.org made by a female rape survivor explaining to a Secondary Survivor how she felt. Now this was and adult that was raped and not a child. An adult that has a lot more experience and understanding than a child. http://www.christianforums.com/t7258133/
That was an adult trying to explain to other adults what it really is like. It hit me pretty hard when I read it because a lot of it is what I have experienced. Not the same but close enough. Does your wife really understand. I doubt it. Ask her to read that post and then ask her if her understanding has changed.
But maybe you don't want her to understand. What kind of support has she had?
I have spent more time in F&F because I want to undestand the CSA from more than just my(survivor) perspective. I get a lot out of it but it also has been costly. There is a lot of pain there to.