Boy have I been there!!! For me it lasted weeks. Intentionally listening to music from that time and that reminded me of my past. Watching movies that triggered me. And the urge to cut. (I have cut)
I don't know what anyone else thinks of this. But for me I can see the positive in what I did. It helped me to 'feel' the pain to 'connect' with what happened to me - possible for the first time. I had been so deep in denial that I had never really mourned for what I lost. It was like a time of mourning for me. Like just about everything we can't continue that sort of behaviour for ever and it passed.
Since then I have been more accepting of the CSA that happened to me and the way I responded to it. It was like I could understand myself better because I could connect with myself at that time through the music and movies.
Wow!!! A light just went on for me....that is the 'meeting' my inner child thing everyone goes on about. I just realised as I was typing that that is what happened for me. I have never 'got' that whole inner child thing until now. Huh!
I guess you never know how or who you are going to help by sharing your 'stuff' here.
Truly Thank you JCM
I hope you can find some good in all this and that this will pass for you. My heart goes out to you and I REALLY understand!!
PS. I agree with Pero: Crazy Gecko really knows his stuff about cutting and he really helped me to get it under control.