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#418371 - 12/06/12 05:31 PM Hi
rflor74 Offline

Registered: 12/06/12
Posts: 2
Loc: Riverside
Don't really know how to start but here goes.
It happened when I was 10. It was my older brothers best friend. I am currently 20. Decided not to tell my parents because I felt I would be looked at as a disgrace and I didn't want them to do something stupid on my behalf. To this day I still struggle with the on going painful memories.

#418374 - 12/06/12 06:28 PM Re: Hi [Re: rflor74]
Anomalous Offline

Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 2241
Hi Rflor74,

Welcome to MS.

I am glad you have found this place of healing and support.

I am sorry that your brothers best friend betrayed you in such a heinous manner.

If you feel therapy is an option, there are resources available. For help in finding a therapist please read the Consumers Guide to Therapist Shopping. Psychology Today has listings of therapists for all states and counties. You can choose the type of therapist you are seeking as well as the area(s) to which you are willng to travel. Also check your county rape crisis center. They offer services to males and females, at no cost to county residents. Some offer support groups in addition to individual therapy.

There are several books you might find useful.

Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse by Mic Hunter

Victims No Longer by Mike Lew

I am certain others will share titles they have found useful. You can find these titles, and others here at the bookstore.

Take your time and look around. You do not want to trigger yourself by reading too many posts at one time.

At your own pace, read the boards and wander into chat. The lounge (chat) is open 24 hours a day though it isn't always populated.

We also have moderated chats called Healing Circles. They meet on Sunday and Wednesday evenings at 9pm eastern time and one on Tuesday at 19:00 UTC (European and African time zone) which translates to 2 PM Eastern US time zone. The Healing Circle on Tuesdays is scheduled to resume in January.

Again, welcome to MS.

Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

#418378 - 12/06/12 08:12 PM Re: Hi [Re: rflor74]
BuffaloCO Offline

Registered: 07/14/12
Posts: 490
He Rflor74, welcome to the site. I am sorry you have to be here but you will find good resources, and more important a lot of good people here who will listen to you, talk to you and support you on this healing path. My abuse started real young too, but with counseling and being able to talk to people here I'm sorting it out. I totally understand about the issue of not telling your family. Mine doesn't know about my CSA, and I am not sure how or if to tell them so I get you. Again welcome brother!
�We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.� - Plato

#418380 - 12/06/12 09:40 PM Re: Hi [Re: rflor74]
Dolphinboy Offline

Registered: 10/30/11
Posts: 62
Hi rflor74
It does not matter that you don't know where to start, the important thing is that made a start. I have found this site by chance and after many years of fumbling around, I finally started making some progress. I never told my parents and today I am not sure if I should tell my mother. I was also the victim of my older brother's friend, before my brother took over my life. It is so sorry what happened to you and what you have to deal with now, but you are young, you can start the healing early and not have to flounder through life, like many of us here, searching for answers that we don't even no the question to, doing things that we cannot find the reason for.
Good luck to you on this journey. Unfortunately there is no quick fix and road the might be hard at times, but we are here to support, encourage hopefully inspire you.

Edited by Dolphinboy (12/06/12 09:43 PM)
When there are dolphins in the waves,
the sharks wont get to us.
I believed my dad that day
and became Dolphinboy,
my own protector.

#418390 - 12/06/12 11:42 PM Re: Hi [Re: rflor74]
rflor74 Offline

Registered: 12/06/12
Posts: 2
Loc: Riverside
Thank you for the support. I actually told my parents about a month ago. My mom was really comforting, caring. My dad tried to seem, to some degree, caring, he really isn't. Granted him and I have never had a father son relationship. I encourage you to take your time with this. It is not easy. Believe me. But you will know when you are ready. I wish you the best of luck in your steps to recovery.


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