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#418338 - 12/06/12 01:19 AM Re: hi [Re: panda]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: panda
....Then he warned me that most people on here would not accept me as a man and therefore would not accept me in a men-only support group. ....All, is his assessment of this community correct?

Panda, No he wasn't least he doesn't speak for me. This is a very accepting place. There might be a few who have a hard time with your gender issue, but you can just ignore them. I hope you will stay.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#418341 - 12/06/12 01:44 AM Re: hi [Re: panda]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4042
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
Panda - unless something someone says triggers a bad memory, i think most of us are good with accepting one another the way we want to be seen - the way we present ourselves. so the fact that you have been very forthright in your intro is good. those who have read it will know up-front where you are coming from. that being said - you may need to clarify or explain from time to time if confusion arises.

but welcome, anyway.
hope your experience here is a positive one.

Edited by traveler (12/06/12 02:46 AM)
Edit Reason: sp
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

#418352 - 12/06/12 07:51 AM Re: hi [Re: panda]
Farmer Boy Offline

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia

Welcome my brother

I am sorry you had to experience CSA like the rest of us.

BUt I'm glad you found us. I have found this place to be very open and accepting. I hope you do too. Thanks for sharing with us about your past. We all understand the need to not let our past define who we are.

More than meets the eye!

#418367 - 12/06/12 11:20 AM Re: hi [Re: panda]
Shyshark Online   sad

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 811
Loc: Canada
Welcome Panda ...

I'm glad you have come here,

and I hope you find the support and respect you justly deserve.

This is a good place for all,

but ... it can be more difficult for some than for others ...

and ... there are many here who will embrace you for just ...

being you.

Experience is a brutal teacher.

#418393 - 12/06/12 08:10 PM Re: hi [Re: panda]
panda Offline

Registered: 12/05/12
Posts: 16
Loc: Michigan
Thank you all. It is good to know that I am welcome here regardless of the type of man I am.

#418402 - 12/06/12 11:58 PM Re: hi [Re: panda]
Anomalous Offline

Greeter Coordinator

Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1964
Hi Panda,

The type of man you are is up to you, and is not based on biology. Whether you are a gentle man, a gentleman, a tough or rugged man, a sensitive and caring man, etc. makes you one of the many kinds of men you will meet here and elsewhere.

Unfortunately, you share the one particular in your life that makes you like every other man here - you were sexually abused.

It is the qualifier for membership to a group which no one would choose to belong.

Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

#418440 - 12/07/12 01:06 PM Re: hi [Re: panda]
Shyshark Online   sad

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 811
Loc: Canada
Panda ...

I was going to let your earlier statement about me stand without comment ... but in light of further developments ... I cannot.

What you said is true ... we did speak at length and shared some intimate details of our lives as they pertained to your particular set of circumstances.

You asked me a direct question about how I thought you would be received here ...
and I BEGAN to answer.

What you fail to include is that, as I was typing the second sentence of my answer you abruptly, and rudely, left before I could finish even that next line.
You did not do me the courtesy of allowing me to finish my thoughts on the matter,
and chose instead to be offended by a sentence that was not intended to stand alone,
and was taken completely out of context.

I will not dignify your statement by completing what I was going to say ...
but as you seem intent on bringing what was intended to be a private conversation
into the public forum I will say this.

What you imply by your statement is in no way, shape, or form how I feel about you, or about your presence here,
or how I believe others will accept you on your own terms.

Experience is a brutal teacher.

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