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#417655 - 11/29/12 11:27 PM Effects of Sexual Abuse
Mountainous Buck Offline

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1631
Loc: Minnesota
I've been thinking about discussing this topic at a general meeting for our local Men's Center: "Effects of Sexual Abuse"

What would you share as the top lasting effects of your abuse experience?

I'd say for me this includes:

1) addiction (alcohol/sex)
2) shut down emotions
3) lack of trust
4) body image issues/confused sexuality

I continue to heal and recover from these effects and more. I've found a lot of healing and support over the years, and feel like I have/we have only just begun making inroads into addressing this issue in the world.

Let me know your thoughts.
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

#417656 - 11/29/12 11:31 PM Re: Effects of Sexual Abuse [Re: Mountainous Buck]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4286
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
good start -
i say YES to all the above.
i would add -
damage to self-esteem - distinct from body image and sexual identity and orientation issues.

Edited by traveler (11/29/12 11:31 PM)
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3

#417658 - 11/29/12 11:48 PM Re: Effects of Sexual Abuse [Re: Mountainous Buck]
Chase Eric Offline

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2962
Number one on my list is the confusion of sexual identity which in turn leads to a refusal to accept oneself and ultimately shame and isolation. It all starts with the lost sense of that most intimate of personal identities.

#417671 - 11/30/12 01:09 AM Re: Effects of Sexual Abuse [Re: Mountainous Buck]
Magellan Offline

Registered: 01/01/11
Posts: 1598
Loc: California
Self loathing.
"Anger at life"
"Anger at the universe"
"Angry for being born"
"Feeling like a victim for simply being born"

I've had all of these.

I don't know why all that is in quotes. Oh well.

Edited by Magellan (11/30/12 01:31 AM)

#417679 - 11/30/12 02:18 AM Re: Effects of Sexual Abuse [Re: Mountainous Buck]
Suwanee Offline
Chat Moderator

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1340
I've got this life
And the will to show
I will always be
Better than before

#417704 - 11/30/12 05:43 AM Re: Effects of Sexual Abuse [Re: Mountainous Buck]
crazy gecko Offline

Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
I can repeat some of the answers, and add a few...

Anger/self loathing - yup, me too.
Period of sexual confusion - yup, me too. (fortunately not nearly as bad as what some of the other guys here are struggling with)
Addiction - yes.
Fear of intimacy
Inability to trust
Need to always be in control
Depression (multiple suicide attempts)
Guilt, shame, feeling like I don't deserve to be happy.

And of course, my official diagnosis - PTSD, BPD, Depersonalisation disorder, Major depression.
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

#417715 - 11/30/12 07:46 AM Re: Effects of Sexual Abuse [Re: Mountainous Buck]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
You guys have covered it all. Sign me up for the next train to the funny farm.
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#417722 - 11/30/12 09:54 AM Re: Effects of Sexual Abuse [Re: Mountainous Buck]
whome Offline

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1743
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi There MB

Nice to see you back you've been away for a while.
I am glad that you are still in the process, and wish you God Speed in your healing.

I would like to add

Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

#417724 - 11/30/12 11:26 AM Re: Effects of Sexual Abuse [Re: Mountainous Buck]
dark empathy Offline

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2712
Loc: durham, north england
Hi buck.

Interesting question, I'll add some of mine.
A sense of worthlessness and hyper self cryticism that affects anything I do.
Recurrent bouts of depression even when there is little or no reason.
A struggle with becoming addicted to isolation.
Discomfort with any sort of physical contact.
Genophobia so profound it makes any sort of relationship an impossibility..

#417779 - 11/30/12 08:42 PM Re: Effects of Sexual Abuse [Re: Mountainous Buck]
1lifenow Offline

Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 437
Loc: west coast
Great thread MB

The inability to be me. Trust or accept who I was or even know who I was. The running away from my true self as I am in the present.

All the other stuff the you have all described followed as the result of the trying to bury any real feelings.

hugz grant
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

WoR Barrie 2011

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