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#417681 - 11/30/12 02:30 AM Supporting Wife Introduction
VS Offline

Registered: 11/30/12
Posts: 2
Hello to everyone,

First I would like to say that I am thankful to have a place where I can talk about these issues with people who understand what we are going through.

My husband was sexually abused as a young child by an older brother. This abuse also involved a sister. My husband also started acting out sexually and became an abuser himself at an early age.

We have been married for 12 years and have been through a lot including two separations because of his acting out. He also has a porn addiction. Other than these problems, he is a good man. Caring, and very loving. Mostly supportive.

The biggest problem occurred about a month ago, he was caught acting inappropriately to my 17 year old daughter whom he has raised and been called dad by since she was 5. This has always been my worst fear since he told me about the abuse. He was being vouyeristic with her. He has been out of the house since she told me about it.

They always had a great relationship until now. I really don't believe he would have otherwise hurt her in a physical way. I do understand that he struggles with his sexual issues. We are in therapy and this is the first time he has tried to face what happened to him. One of the major triggers for him I think, and this is just an opinion is that he works with his brother everyday. And has for many years. They own a business and he has never really considered any other form of employment.

It hurts to know that he has devasted and hurt my daughter in such an emotionally traumatizing way. I am trying to be as understanding and supportive as I can be to both of them. It is a very trying time for me. I have read two books now on the subject. I just got done with Beyond Betrayl and it has helped me with some of my questions.

Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself and share my story. I hope to continue being loving and supportive. I really want him to help himself and get better. I love him and know how bad he is hurting from his actions.


#417685 - 11/30/12 02:45 AM Re: Supporting Wife Introduction [Re: VS]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4284
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
VS -

please extend a personal invitation to your husband to join us here. it was one of the best things i have ever done in my life to help myself. he will find a huge amount of understanding and support among us.

thanks for introducing yourself. check out the Friends and Family forum - specifically for wives, partners and supportive non-survivors. i'm sure you will find lots of help there.

i hope and pray that all of you - daughter, husband, his brother and YOU - can reach healing and restoration of relationships.

How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3

#417687 - 11/30/12 02:55 AM Re: Supporting Wife Introduction [Re: VS]
VS Offline

Registered: 11/30/12
Posts: 2
Thank you for the response Lee. I have been Reading some of the posts in that area. I think this will be a great resource for him. I will encourage him to use it. I know it will be helpful to me since I really don't have anyone that understands that I can talk to.

Thanks again!

#417813 - 12/01/12 06:36 AM Re: Supporting Wife Introduction [Re: VS]
RunningOnEmpty Offline

Registered: 10/08/12
Posts: 91
Loc: georgia

Edited by RunningOnEmpty (01/02/13 01:04 AM)


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