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#369129 - 08/30/11 02:13 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 758
Maybe your the guy with the bullhorn because your a survivor?....To me your just Special K!

PS I dont give a shit what they see, we see the real keith, especially when he decides to let us in smile

_________________________
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#369765 - 09/08/11 02:18 PM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: Castle]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Some days when I read posts here I wonder why it does not get better for all of us. It is what I want, and what I know you all want as well.

I can look around me and see, talk, chat, email, and text men here who have become a part of my extended family. I can see how far they have come, and how far they have helped me come too.

We've climbed through it all. Pick any aspect of abuse and we have dissected it, buried it, and done it again if needed.

But the men I lean on here agreed the only direction any of us would go was up.

What started as a very basic attempt to stop horrible pain caused by abuse has converted into a series of very healing and very healthy friendships.

Sure we talk about how we got here.

But more and more we talk about the music and art that heals us, every day life events, accomplishments at school or work, love, and realizing how very much alive and well we all are.

I wish I could tell you the men I rely on here are special. To me they each are.

But at the same time we are no different than any of you.

Make the decision today you will heal.

Reject all the horse-shit left behind from the perp.

This weekend I watched a 13 year old kid who is a Cancer Survivor run the spikes off a pair of cleats. I sat there and said to myself if that kid can do it, why the Hell can't any of us?

I say every man here can heal. Grab someone here who is doing it now and take real steps to get what we all deserve in life.

Start by saying it does get better......

Keith


_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#370021 - 09/13/11 01:36 PM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
I had shared with a group of men I am close with feedback I got on 9-11 from my Son's close friend Evan.

Evan was 9 when his Dad was murdered at the World Trade Center. He spends a lot of time at my house. He lives a few streets over. Evan is a quiet very dignified man. He always smiles this huge toothy grin and has perfect manners.

Early on my Son said Evan does not want anyone to talk about 9-11, and for all those years I respected that. The guys who know me here no I hardly ever hold back on what I have to say, but man I never crossed that line with Evan. Every single time he has been to our House he gets a tight hug from me, and nothing more.

On 9-11 I sent a note to my Son to please let Evan know he was in our thoughts. The message back from Evan simply said that meant a lot to him, and he loved us all.

There is a picture I shared with my group here of Evan in our living room at the top back row of 20 teens surrounded and protected. Odds are the imagery is a coincidence but I'll be damned if that human wall of good 18 & 19 years olds have not in fact surrounded him and cared for him exactly like they appear in that picture.

Evan is a survivor, and though I know first hand he's been bruised I also know he is not beaten.

I may think it can get better. Evan would tell you he knows it does.

Get going and heal guys. Don't tell me you can't. Evan and other good guys here at MS show me every day we all can.

Be well.

Keith


_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#370277 - 09/16/11 02:47 PM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
I had shared with a group of men I am close with feedback I got on 9-11 from my Son's close friend Evan.

Evan was 9 when his Dad was murdered at the World Trade Center. He spends a lot of time at my house. He lives a few streets over. Evan is a quiet very dignified man. He always smiles this huge toothy grin and has perfect manners.

Early on my Son said Evan does not want anyone to talk about 9-11, and for all those years I respected that. The guys who know me here no I hardly ever hold back on what I have to say, but man I never crossed that line with Evan. Every single time he has been to our House he gets a tight hug from me, and nothing more.

On 9-11 I sent a note to my Son to please let Evan know he was in our thoughts. The message back from Evan simply said that meant a lot to him, and he loved us all.

There is a picture I shared with my group here of Evan in our living room at the top back row of 20 teens surrounded and protected. Odds are the imagery is a coincidence but I'll be damned if that human wall of good 18 & 19 years olds have not in fact surrounded him and cared for him exactly like they appear in that picture.

Evan is a survivor, and though I know first hand he's been bruised I also know he is not beaten.

I may think it can get better. Evan would tell you he knows it does.

Get going and heal guys. Don't tell me you can't. Evan and other good guys here at MS show me every day we all can.

Be well.

Keith


_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#370312 - 09/16/11 10:31 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1627
Loc: Minnesota
Thanks Keith.

_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#370910 - 09/24/11 08:55 AM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: Mountainous Buck]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Jamie your words showed me it does get better the day I got here. They still do bud.

I'm sitting outside Beaver Stadium @ Penn State waiting to TailGate with our Irish Twins and a S-Load of their best friends. This place is so alive right now.....just like me and you.

Driving up along the Susquehana before dawn headed to Happy Valley so chills me. Knowing the Fam would all be together up here with a crowd of 65000 so helps.

If you think you can't do it do something like I am to clear your head. I am doing it for me, for the family I love, for some of you who give me courage, and for a nephew who told me this week he got hurt real bad as a kid.

Yeah I'm doing it for him and with him too.

He says he's gonna get better. He's right.

Be well all.

Keith

_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#371448 - 10/01/11 01:13 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
I'm watching a young man step up and confront the cause of pain he carried too long.

I'm proud of my own kids who get why he's hurt and are supporting him.

My wife is proud of me for being there for him too. She knows just how tough this is for me.

Its not easy. It never was. But he deserves this chance to heal like each of us do.

There is no reason to be held back by it all. The ability to heal is within us all.

Each of us has to confront our fears, let go of the past, get out in the sun, and let it get better.

Just do it. Don't say you can't.

Be well all.

_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#372058 - 10/10/11 11:19 AM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
I told a MS friend last night it's about perspective, it's about realizing what we do have in life, not what we do not.

Yeah life will kick us in the A$$ at times. We all know CSA is far from the only challenge any of us face. But the past is gone and we all need to focus on the here and now.

I hate that my older kids are 240 miles away at school. Saturday I sat in the sun in a buddy's yard watching his 3 High School & college aged sons play whiffle ball. I told him I was jealous of him. This guy is a real good friend so he turned it right around and told me he only wished his boys could get into the same college our older 2 attend.

Perspective, huh.

At times I let my CSA brain tell me I don't connect with my kids like I want to.

Bullshit.

The truth is they have always come to me for advice on the things that matter. The truth is they all naturally work hard, get good grades, make good friends, do meaningful charity work, respect the faith they were raised in, and look out for each other. The truth is we are giving them a shot so they have all the options in life they want. The truth is they are growing up to be real good people.

And the stuff I am doing today for my nephew hurts like Hell, but it means the world to him I know. It matters, he matters.

The truth simply is that though I was abused as a young boy somehow I found true love, built a great family, found a good job, and have lots of real good friends all around me.

I'm no different than anyone here. Don't even try and say I am not.

Sometimes it gets better when we realize the only thing that holds us back is ourselves. Sometimes it gets better when you stop to count what you do have, not what you do not.

Be well.

Keith


_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#372061 - 10/10/11 11:40 AM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
cris40ky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/20/11
Posts: 188
Loc: KY, US
Thanks KB!


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#372392 - 10/14/11 12:09 PM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: cris40ky]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
A lot of people take the time to read this post. I thank you each. There is a lot that gets posted on our boards every week and I'm touched so many people wonder what I have to say.

The guys here who really know me....know my name, know my face, know my voice, know I also do this to help myself. This has always been my way of reinforcing myself.

I keep telling you I am like anyone else here in the ways that count. I was abused by a Pastor from ages 10-12. I never forgot it happened but I let his lies convince me it was fine. With time it took it's effects, the same exact effects each of us can describe.

But at the same time I did not let it kill me (came close a few times) and I was able to make many good friends, get a decent education, fall in love, build a family, do some things in life I can feel real good about too. And like I always say I can see in our 3 kids now 13, 18, & 19 some real good people we are so proud of because they took the good from what we have taught them, and seem to always put any pain in life to the side. That's what we need to do too really.

I'm lucky I found this place though I'm so sad any of us need it. But that's life and we need to deal with the hurt and let it get better.

I know I have had a chance to help a few here. I know many of you have helped me along the way too. It's all good.

There is a guy here who I helped a lot, and he knows he has helped me right back. We will push pull drag and cajole at times to keep going forward. What I said to him recently is what I say to many of you here:

I am so sorry you ever had to know me this way, but so very lucky that you do.

That goes to us all here guys.

So thanks for taking the time to read my stuff each week, and be certain I can see in you, and can see in me, it does get better.

Keith


_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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