I just wanted to let you know how incredibly similar your own story is to mine, including age and biographical details. When I read your posts, I can see your ups and downs and they remind me of myself. But its funny, because when you are pissed off or hopeless, it is much easier for me to recognize that you're just beating yourself up. Seeing when I am doing the same thing is very, very hard. That whole rush of feelings and craziness that you described upon first getting here sounds very healthy.
Anyways, I just wanted to let you know someone is out here reading what you wrote and rooting for you (and all of us) to take your life in your own hands and never feel that horrible sense of doom and failure again.
The arc of history is long but it curves towards justice. -- MLK