I really do not feel that I am good enough. I truly can say that I gave 100% every single day of my relationship. I gave, gave, and gave some more. In the end, he told me that the only way he could love me was if I hated him. Profound words. No matter what I did - it just was not enough. I wonder...Will I ever be enough? I highly doubt I will be. I'm sorry - just the way I feel.
It's not that you're not enough or not good enough; it's that he feels he isn't. It was said to me that the better my estranged believes I am, the worse he feels because he believes himself unworthy.
Quite a number of years ago I read a self help book and the primary thing I got out of it, and all that I remember from it, was this.
1) I'm OK - Your OK
2) I'm not OK - Your OK
3) I'm OK - Your not OK
4) I'm not OK - Your not OK
I don't remember if 2 or 3 were in that order or if it matters. All I remember is that 1 is good. 2 and 3 are bad. And 4 is really bad.
I identified myself in 4 even though I had no "Your" for the above test. But a couple of previous short relationships probably counted as 4s.
This is how I saw things. If I found anyone good enough for me they would never want someone like me because I wasn't good enough for them. Because I could never have anyone good enough then anyone I ended up with would put us in situation 4. And to me that was unacceptable. So for me there just wasn't any point to even try.
I couldn't even consider getting myself into an "I'm OK" state. It just was not possible. I don't know how you can get anyone out of "I'm not OK". I guess that is what therapy is for?