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#416724 - 11/20/12 10:27 PM A quick hello finally
Eric M. Offline

Registered: 06/20/12
Posts: 2
Loc: Plano, Texas
I have been a long time lurker but have been to shy to introduce myself or type something out. But today was a difficult day and I just needed to do something to make it feel like it was worth going through the pain.

Short background of my abuse: 30 years ago a man in a movie theater sexually assaulted me and I was forced to relive it through a 3 month court battle in front of 20 adults that were law students even after requesting privacy from the judge. My abuser only got 4 years in prison. As he abused me he told me that if I ever told I he would kill me and all my family ... you know the same crap... I know who you are and where you live.... graphic details of how etc.
I was also being abused by a gang of teenagers in my neighborhood at relatively the same time. They would use me however they saw fit mostly sexually.
Needless to say for years it was all I could do to get out of the house. To this day I still loathe meeting strangers and going to new places. And I usually end up drinking to deal with it.

Anyway... that's enough of my sob story. I hope I can meet you all and we can help each other continue to survive this roller coaster called life.


#416725 - 11/20/12 10:39 PM Re: A quick hello finally [Re: Eric M.]
Bean1971 Offline

Registered: 11/18/12
Posts: 20
Loc: UK
Welcome Eric. I am also new here and know how much courage (like everyone here) to start talking.
"This is the story of how we begin to remember."

"...just below my skin I'm screaming..."

#416728 - 11/20/12 11:31 PM Re: A quick hello finally [Re: Eric M.]
Candu Offline

Registered: 07/01/12
Posts: 312
Loc: Canada
Hi Eric.

I've been here off and on for a few months. Things were pretty rough for me and I was only able to handle it here in little bits. I've done some posting recently but I still am not up to doing an introduction yet. Only in the last day or so have I felt up to reading introductions in order to prepare for mine.

I'm glad you finally posted and I hope being here will get us where we need to go.

#416736 - 11/21/12 12:30 AM Re: A quick hello finally [Re: Candu]
Sterling Offline

Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 1954
Loc: Winnipeg, Manitoba,Canada
Dont make it more difficult. This should HAVE NOT
Never mind sob story. Your story is worth sobbing!
We are not on here b/c we all won a Noble
Peace Prize ( altho after all we've been thru
we faking deserve it)!
So do what u gotta do until your are purged;
eating well ( i am a hypocrit hir -i just munched
down on some deep-fried chicken) try deep-breathing
,i dunno maybe you do this already, maybe you r
an instructor of some class.
Take care...
Warm wishes
you are not alone- even tho, for me anyway
it can feel like it

#416806 - 11/21/12 02:41 PM Re: A quick hello finally [Re: Eric M.]
Anomalous Offline

Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 2242
Hi Eric,

Welcome to MS.

I am glad you have found this place of healing and support.

Please do not demean yourself, or your experiences, by referring to telling of your experiences as a "sob story." Like Sterling said, you have a lot about which to sob. And if you have not yet allowed yourself to cry over the abuses you endured, the tears will eventually flow.

NO ONE should ever endure these experiences.

Kudos to you for taking one of your abusers to court. I know the sentence wasn't nearly long enough, but look at the strength and courage it took for you to stand up and say "you are going to be held accountable. Others will now know what you did to me. I will no longer keep your secrets."

You also let him know that you would no longer be intimidated by him nor allow his threats to keep you silent.

During the times you feel down, try to remember your inner strength. It may be difficult to get in touch with it on some days, but it is there.

You do not say whether or not you are in therapy. If you feel therapy is an option, there are resources available. For help in finding a therapist please read the Consumers Guide to Therapist Shopping. Psychology Today has listings of therapists for all states and counties. You can choose the type of therapist you are seeking as well as the area(s) to which you are willng to travel. Also check your county rape crisis center. They offer services to males and females, at no cost to county residents. Some offer support groups in addition to individual therapy.

There are several books you might find useful.

Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse by Mic Hunter

Victims No Longer by Mike Lew

I am certain others will share titles they have found useful. You can find these titles, and others here at the bookstore.

Take your time and look around. You do not want to trigger yourself by reading too many posts at one time.

At your own pace, read the boards and wander into chat. The lounge (chat) is open 24 hours a day though it isn't always populated.

We also have moderated chats called Healing Circles. They meet on Sunday and Wednesday evenings at 9pm eastern time and one on Tuesday at 19:00 UTC (European and African time zone) which translates to 2 PM Eastern US time zone. The Healing Circle on Tuesdays is scheduled to resume in January.

Again, welcome to MS.

Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

#416853 - 11/22/12 12:30 AM Re: A quick hello finally [Re: Eric M.]
finallyopen Offline

Registered: 11/17/12
Posts: 69
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Welcome Eric .. can see similarities .. relax and heal .. look forward to seeing you in chat someday smile
My Story :

#416909 - 11/22/12 08:25 AM Re: A quick hello finally [Re: Eric M.]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England

Welcome! There is hope for you. This site will help as there are men here who understand what you're going thru. Keep posting and reading and you will learn and grow from it.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#417049 - 11/24/12 02:29 AM Re: A quick hello finally [Re: Eric M.]
Eric M. Offline

Registered: 06/20/12
Posts: 2
Loc: Plano, Texas
Thank you all. I am about to start therapy again. Been in and out of therapy for 26 years. Nothing seems to work but my creative ventures and my constant inner dialogue which I try to keep positive. I had been doing well until the last two week. Stress really got to me. But I'm coming back round. I'm snapping out of it. Thank you all again for the kind word.


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